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The mustache is a luxuriant thatch of hair that starts below the nose, above the upper lip and extends from each end of the mouth. Mustaches, or "stashes," denote virility and potency in the grower/wearer of "the stash." While any man with a pair of balls and an upper lip can grow a mustache, it takes a real man to wear a mustache properly. This is called "Mandom."
While a lush mustache is a respectable and pleasing form of facial hair, beards are not. To be more exact, men with beards are unacceptable, they know what they did.
It should be noted that some non-carny women grow and wear facial hair such as mustaches. If such hair is not job related, to allow such growth is an abomination unto God and man. Some such hirsute "women" are Rachel Maddow, Italians and Frida Kahlo