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Osama bin Lisa
Mahmoud Ahmedi-Muslim-nejad is a terrorist.
Muslim is heretical
and makes The Baby Jesus jealous!
May it rot in the fires of his judgement!

This typical muslim is called a Taliban, they are known for their disguises. It helps them invade other countries undetected.

Muslims (pronounced ter·ror·ists. Can also be pronounced Mud-Slime or Moose-limb) are highly misguided, violent people intent on destroying America because They Hate Our Freedoms and are jealous of us. They have yet to absorb the radiating Light of the Baby Jesus. They want to invade our country, kill our leaders and convert us to Islam. As Islam expert Ann Coulter has succinctly suggested in her doctrine:

We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.[1]

This is why we should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity:

To compensate for not being able to celebrate the Greatest Holiday Ever, they enjoy blowing themselves up, and worshiping bears. Muslims hate America and there's nothing we can do about it. Mohammedanism nurtures within its inhabitants a natural aversion to baseball, apple pie, democracy, freedoms, the West, cartoons, babies, and basically everything Pure and Sacred. They don't seem to enjoy fine meals like Pabst Blue Ribbon with barbecued pork ribs, or pork rinds washed down with any Genuine Miller product.

Muslims are known for praying five times a day, starving themselves at least one month every year, their deep hatred towards Jewish people for stealing their circumcision tradition and the Alpine peoples for stealing their yodeling tradition.


A view of all of the Mooslims in Mecca answering the call to go shopping.

Types of MuslimsEdit

The Infidel - Official Trailer HD01:43

The Infidel - Official Trailer HD

The Joo-mooslim


Lemmings are a type of Muslim that, like the popular PC video game "Lemmings", blow themselves up.


Shia followers are followers of that particular brand of Islam centered around Shia Saide LaBeouf. It is clear that this form of religious worship is un-American because he starred in such horrible films as the Transformers Series and that ridiculous Indiana Jones sequel. He is horrid in every film he is in and yet he KEEPS GETTING WORK!


Twelvers are a type of Muslim Shiite who have something to do with the number 12.


Seveners are a type of Shiite who have something to do with the number Seven. Instead of Allah, they worship the Aga Khan. The Aga Khan is a white guy that is very rich. Most of his followers are brown.


Mainstream Islam. They are terrorists. They come up to you and say, "Hey you guys want to buy some oil, we give you good deal, yes?"


Main faction of Islam that exists in Saudi Arabia. Al-Qaeda is made up of 110% of these.

Decoy MooslimsEdit

Decoy Mooslims are like sekret mooslims, only worst. They are trying to infiltrate America by pretending they are not mooslims. Even you could be a Decoy Mooslim and not even know it!

Al Qaeda Populating U.S03:17

Al Qaeda Populating U.S. With Peaceful 'Decoy Muslims'

Decoy Mooslims

Nation of IslamEdit

They are not real Muslims. They believe that the white man is the devil and they advocate black supremacy. Michael Jackson was once a member, but was eventually kicked out because he was too crazy even for them.

Mooslim AtheistEdit

These are a very rare bread of mooslims but they are very real. We suspect they are going extinct for being non-believers

Gay MooslimsEdit

This is what happens when you allow people to marry with bears. They get infected with teh gey, if only they worshiped Jesus then they would never have been polluted by teh gey disease.

Scottish MooslimsEdit

No, really they are real. Some of them can be recognized by the wearing of the traditional Mooslim Kilt.

Mooslim TrekkersEdit

I am afraid to announced that mooslims have conquered space.

Sexy MooslimsEdit

We suspect these sexy mooslims were created in mooslims laboratories to corrupt the American public to accept the mooslim lifestyle and even breed mooslim children with them. Do not be fooled, they are just trying to brainwash you! Do not let shirtless sexy mooslim men... distract you of you patriotic duby, I mean duty... Even the mooslim ladies are too intoxicating... to say no... mmm... where was I?...

Ninja MooslimsEdit

Terrifying yet baddassery

Republican MooslimsEdit

I knew you couldnt trust those mooslims! Once a terrorist, always a terrorist!

And some of them already infiltrated the judicial system!

Terror Grannies!!!Edit

Oh, Hell![1]

Cyber MuslinsEdit

Muslim SuperheroesEdit

Jasmine at war

Jasmine, codename "Desert Wild Flower". Freedom fighter or Terrorist, she is still hawt! (her boyfriend Aladdin was last seeing carpet bombing Agrabah)


Please also see the full article: Mohammed

Aga KhanEdit

Please also see the full article: Aga Khan

Louis FarrakhanEdit

Please also see the full article: Louis Farrakhan

Fractoids about MuslimsEdit

Muslim Demographics The Truth09:21

Muslim Demographics The Truth

European Truthers fights off the Islamofication of Europe!
  • All Muslims live in the Middle East.[2]
  • All Muslims have brown skin, long noses, beards, horns, wings, and red tails with one of those red spade things on the tip. See Jews.
  • All Muslims are suspect.
  • All Muslims are obviously terrorists
  • Joint research by Brigham Young University or NAMBLA, and South Florida Community College confirms that Muslims spend virtually all waking hours plotting the demise of Western Civilization. Dear Leader has warned us that Muslims "never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people". But that "neither do we." [3]
  • All 1,400,000,000 Muslims worldwide can communicate via telepathy. Muslims recieve prior notification before all major terrorist attacks.
  • All Muslims have mad Asian skillz.
  • All Muslims have been called Osama-bin-Whatever at least once in their lives.
  • Muslims do not enjoy Danish political cartoons.
  • Passing Muslims, by definition, are roadside bombs.
  • Muslims come in all shapes and explosive velocities
  • Muslims do not have sex ed. and drivers ed. on the same day because the camels would get tired.
  • They hate religious freedom almost as much as atheists.[2]
  • They own a Time Machine!
  • Their 200 year old plan to mooslify America
  • They are trying to infiltrate the Republican Party to change our Nation's law.
  • They are boring.
  • They are not allowed to go #1 and #2

Mooslim ClothingEdit

Juan Williams is an expert on mooslim clothings, if you see a mooslims dressed up as a mooslims, be afraid...

Muslim Treatment of Broads Edit

Popular commentator and public intellectual Bill O'Reilly frequently reminds Patriots that all Muslim men treat Muslim women like cattle, dogs, or Bears. He further chides American women (particularly feminists feminazis) for:

A) Not being thankful enough for being born a woman in post-sexist, PC America.
B) Complaining about lower wages[4] when they should be grateful that men allow them to for being able to work in the first place.
C) Not supporting the War Effort enough, when doing so will liberate their sisters from one tyranny and replace it with another. [5]

It is common knowledge that all Muslim women are beaten, oppressed, covered from head to toe, and badly in need of Liberation.[6]


IF they win, our HAWT women will be forced to wear THIS! DO WE WANT THAT???

Reward Edit

According to Urban Legend, Fox News, and various other respected sources, Muslims believe that if they kill infidels they will be rewarded with 72 virgins in paradise.[7]

What they don't know is exactly what kind of "Virgins" await them. For all they know, the virgins could be goats, sheep, cows, donkeys, horses, or one of those braces-wearing, zit-covered, junior high school girls who can't fit into a cheerleading outfit even if it was painted on (ick, I just threw up in my mouth).

Now you might think that the Muslims spot the obvious flaws in their religion, such as this one, but they can't because their turbans are usually tied too tight. That's why they always run around screaming "Allahu akhbar", which is actually Kuwaiti for "where is the light switch?".

For those among us who do not spot the obvious flaws with this concept, luckily American Condi pointed out why:

Flag quote open clear2
Imagine you are a little girl somewhere in Muslimistan. You are told to be quiet when men speak, to always wear a burqa and a veil. You may never go to school. You may never learn to read, write or do math. You must cook, bear children and clean the house. You must never kiss a man before marriage, let alone show him any naked parts of your arm or leg. You must lead a life of absolute obedience, celibacy and hard work. And your reward for all this enduring is that you will go to heaven (Muslim heaven, anyway)! Where you will be the sex slave for a terrorist for the rest of eternity!
Flag quote close clear2

Experts on Islam Edit

Apologists for Islam Edit

Prejudice Against MuslimsEdit

Rock the casbah

Muslims and Jews in better time.

No one hates Muslims except Jews.

There are some people who believe that every fractoid on this page is false and perhaps hateful. If you believe this, then you are most likely a Muslim. So please see the page on Jews. It is not's intention to spread lies or perpetuate hate; we merely provide the highest level of truthiness on every subject.

The Islamification of AmericaEdit

The Islamofication of Other PlacesEdit

See Also Edit

References (Happy, Now?)Edit

External TubesEdit

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