Mount Everest

The tallest mountian on America's Planet.

Approximately 29,000 feet above sea level (not 3 thousand meters, or whatever) it is just one mountain in the chain called the "Himalayas", the mongolian word for "breasts".

Located in China's Spain, the indigenous people are called "Sherpas" which means "Mexican" in mongolian.

Climbing Mt. EverestEdit


Mount Everest from space

The first person to reach its summit was Sir Edmund Hillary, not the sherpa who took his picture. Hillary planted the flag of the United Kingdom in the snow, even though he was from New Zealand. Queen above all, old boy.

Ever since then, men who can't afford guns climb the mountain and plant their flag because the other ones that were up there just happen to get blown off.

There are two main routes for climbing: the one that works, and the one that doesn't.

The people who take the first route often write books about their adventure, detailing how they survived the cold and erratic weather to do the wives of the ones who took the second route.

Stephen Colbert has chosen not to climb Mt Everest seven times, more than any other man, simply because he didn't want to. Jon Stewart suggested that these non-ascents were due to Stephen's being in terrible physical condition. This is true about the first two, but the rest were simply about Stephen's decision making.

What Can Be Found On The MountainEdit

There are several base camps which climbers use to rest and replenish their supplies, such as oxygen, clothing and talk radio.

Each base camp is different, kind of like theme restaurants.

Base-Base CampEdit

Can be found at the very bottom of the mountain. You still have to climb a bit just to get to this camp, the mountain is that freakin' high up. Theme: Las Vegas.

The base of the mountain is a free-wheeling, hooker-infested gambling mecca with palm readers and a "Girls Gone Wild" tent.

Base Camp IEdit

Base Camp IIEdit

Base Camp IIIEdit

Base Camp IVEdit

Base Camp VEdit

Base Camp VIEdit

What Is Needed On The Mountain Before Stephen Will Climb ItEdit

  • a ski lift
  • a sherpa willing to strap Stephen to his back
  • Pepper spray and some guns because bears live on mountains.

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