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Morgellons

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Bigfoot
UFO
Morgellons
is one of the things they don't want you to know about.
Stephen scrubs swc
Stethescope0
After a thorough examination, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
has diagnosed you as suffering from a case of
Morgellons


Morgellons is a disease that had to have originated on Mars or, at the very least, the Moon or California. The name comes from the name of the species of alien who brought it to America's Planet.

SymptomsEdit

There are literally thousands of symptoms common to Morgellons sufferers, some of which are:

  1. itching
  2. sleepiness
  3. fibers protruding through the skin
  4. sudden rectal probing sensations
  5. peanut butter craving

TreatmentEdit

There is no treatment for Morgellons since it is all make-believe. Some doctors recommend a sharp smack upside the head. Other medical experts recommend a very large wallet.

Dr. Stephen Shock Asylum7
After a cursory review, the doctor recommends Morgellons undergo drastic invasive surgery and perhaps a few more medicines.

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