Mopping Technology
is a tool Patriots use to battle America's enemies
God Bless America
DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

...using mopping technology will make it seem like dirt never existed!

America is a strong nation.

Because of this, she is always under attack from evil, both domestic and foreign. The Greatest Administration Ever has America protected thanks to the NSA. Corporate America has stepped up to provide any protections which are yet to be discovered.

Every day researchers are looking for more and more ways terrorists could breach America's vulnerabilities. One new way that has recently discovered is filth, or bacteriological terrorism. America's housewives are on the forefront of this battle, forever cleaning the filthy, filthy remnants of tiny microscopic jihadists!

Soldiers In The War On FilthEdit

Three brave corporations have designed new tools to deal with the coalition of filth: bacteria, dust mites and stink. Their tools resemble traditional mops and/or dainty vacuums, but they are very much the powerful weapons they behave like.

When Did The World Get So Filthy?Edit

The world never used to be so filthy. Not until 9/11. Before 9/11 the world was doing okay. Sure, there were liberals and other assorted commies, but since 9/11, the world quickly became a filthy, filthy place indeed.

Now, someone has to keep it clean.

Clean, to be closer to God.

Clean, because when the world is tidy, the world is a better place. Everything in its place. Clean the floor, wash your hands, wipe the counter. Everyday there is more dirt, but it will get washed away. It must get washed away.

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