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Moneytheism

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Moneytheism
helps Americans better understand
The Free Market
America thanks you, Moneytheism
Stromdw
God Touching Adam
"Moneytheism"
is Most Beloved by God over all His creations
Now and Forever, Amen.
HAND SQUEEZING MONEY

"and give us this day our daily Mighty Dollar. Amen"

Moneytheism is the American faith in the free marketEpisode #482

Origin Of MoneytheismEdit

Karma-capitalism

Moneytheism is God’s religion and doesn’t conflict with Christianity

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Cults
People Who Are in Cults


What Moneytheists BelieveEdit

Supplysidejesus6

Amen!

Essentially Moneythiests believe in a pure version of a free market untainted by regulations, in very much the same way Heaven's economy would operate. For an example of a mature expression of Moneytheism see Third World.

Creation MythEdit

Very much like the rest of the universe it comes from nothing but from the moment of it's creation it becomes EVERYTHING. And on the seventh day there was compound interest.

Flood StoryEdit

Mo Money, mo Money, mo Money. More is ALWAYS better than anything else.

Afterlife MythEdit

The 'afterlife' is certainly a myth as the whole of the universe will cease to exist without Money, pray Money never dies.

DeitiesEdit

Corporations are king.

Moneytheist RitualsEdit

Birth RitualsEdit

The doctor is paid, BEFORE, the baby is delivered. To give thanks for the mere notion of extracting the child from it's moneyless purgatory.

In the US we are natural born crimanals - leudness, trespassing and vagrancy, the day we are born. Even if you are born at 'home', even if that 'home' is 'paid for' in reality you are merely a tenant of 'your' property.  Fortunately money can solve all of these dilemmas and absolution can be acquired!  For a price.

Marriage RitualsEdit

All currency is bonded in the locking of two individuals, giving them each equal shares of everything no matter what was brought to the table beforehand.

Death RitualsEdit

The deceased is buried with all his possessions in order to take it with him/her to show God how much he obtained.

Absolution RitualsEdit

Money, properly applied, absolves one from any and all social, socioeconomic and even economic obligations or responsibilities.

Holiday RitualsEdit

Modern MoneytheismEdit

Money is the answer to all of life's questions and dilemmas.

Famous MoneytheistsEdit

External TubesEdit

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