Mohammad Sagha was a high school newspaper columnist who used to write for the Naperville Sun until he accidentally submitted his bomb-making instructions from a folder on his computer labeled Al Qaeda.
His liberal masters at the paper not only published the entire screed (including the byline "Death To America") but they included an Arabic translation.
Within hours of a call to arms from Rush, the Naperville Sun's headquarters were burned to the ground and every sheet in a seven-mile radius of Naperville, Illinois was also burned lest any sleeper cell should use them inappropriately.
American authorities are desperately looking for Mr. Sagha, an APB was called by the local Homeland Security Bureau and all traffic going in and out of Naperville was stopped. Witnesses say, however, a single plane was given clearance to land and depart at nearby Chicago's O'Hare airport.
No one on board was identified.
Originally, The Sun had hired Sagha to write about high school issues, like condoms and crack, but many believe the bomb-making instructions were deliberately leaked so he could get out of taking finals.