| MISERY |
|State Flower:||The Meth plant|
|State Bird:||Ashcroft Eagle|
|State Motto:||Violence is not the answer unless they really deserve it which is all the time
so violence is the answer
|Nickname:||The "it took me 5 tries to spell it right" state|
|Governor:||Who cares? They'll elect a dead man if it suits them. |
|State Anthem:||Let the Eagle Sour, by John Ashcroft|
|Population:|| Pre Tornado Season: 5,600,000
Post Tornado Season: Only the people who have basements
|Standard MPH:||Depends on where you fall on the Chevy vs. Ford debate|
|Principal imports:||Montana and Minnesota water|
|Principal exports:||Jenna Fischer/Double Wides and their inhabitants|
|Principal industries:||Sports Bars/Cow Tipping/Being on COPS|
|Fun Fact # 1:||Missouri is a pansy with The Pansy State|
|Fun Fact # 2:||Kansas City was obtained through a war with Kansas|
Missouri is a state that once was a good and peaceful land until it's name went from Missouri to Misery, thanks to the gays in Kansas!
Harry Truman did it.
Achieving Show-Me StatenessEdit
The teens rarely comply, but Missourians give up easily and are willing to accept a measurement. That's known as a "Missouri Compromise".
Modern-day Show-Me StatenessEdit
State Seal ControversyEdit
Just look at it: two bears!!
Much of Missouri would be flooded if it weren't for the levies that hold back the water. Levies are also known as dikes or "dykes". Missouri is full of dykes who were allowed to constuct a huge sculpture to commemorate the play Vagina Monologues.
After it was built, then-governor John Ashcroft was embarrassed by what he called "this pornographic monstrosity." He suggested covering it up, but eventually (as everyone there does until they move to DC) accepted a Missouri Compromise that renamed the sculpture "Gateway Arch"
MO famous people from MissouriEdit
- John Ashcroft
- Harry Truman
- Conrad Burns
- Marty McFly, but only until Claire McCaskill wins the Senate seat or Rush Limbaugh decides to kill and eat him.
- Brad, a friend who told me he was moving to Missouri. 'If you can't be smarter, move somewhere where you seem smarter."
- Walt Disney
- Josephine Baker
- Yogi Berra
- Mart Twain
- Martha Jane Canary
- George Washington Carver
- Walter Cronkite
- Jesse James
- Virgil Thomson
- Edwin Hubble
Strange Laws in MissouriEdit
It is illegal to have sex with animals that way over 40 pounds.