is an insidious part of the
Fancy-pantsification of America!
U R Here
is a Recognized State of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

See Also:



Capitol: Anheuser-Busch
State Flower: The Meth plant
Official Language: Redneck
State Bird: Ashcroft Eagle
State Motto: Violence is not the answer unless they really deserve it which is all the time

so violence is the answer

Nickname: The "it took me 5 tries to spell it right" state
Governor: Who cares? They'll elect a dead man if it suits them. [1]
State Anthem: Let the Eagle Sour, by John Ashcroft
Population: Pre Tornado Season: 5,600,000

Post Tornado Season: Only the people who have basements

Standard MPH: Depends on where you fall on the Chevy vs. Ford debate
Principal imports: Montana and Minnesota water
Principal exports: Jenna Fischer/Double Wides and their inhabitants
Principal industries: Sports Bars/Cow Tipping/Being on COPS
Fun Fact # 1: Missouri is a pansy with The Pansy State
Fun Fact # 2: Kansas City was obtained through a war with Kansas

Missouri is a state that once was a good and peaceful land until it's name went from Missouri to Misery, thanks to the gays in Kansas!


Harry Truman did it.


Achieving Show-Me StatenessEdit

Missouri, also known as Iowa's Kazakhstan, is called the "Show me" state because everyone there says that when they send instant messages to STUDS (Strong Teens Using Democracy).

The teens rarely comply, but Missourians give up easily and are willing to accept a measurement. That's known as a "Missouri Compromise".

Modern-day Show-Me StatenessEdit

State Seal ControversyEdit

is an Official "Lover of Immoral Bears" (LiB) Site™

Just look at it: two bears!!

Missouri LandmarksEdit

"Gateway" ArchEdit

Much of Missouri would be flooded if it weren't for the levies that hold back the water. Levies are also known as dikes or "dykes". Missouri is full of dykes who were allowed to constuct a huge sculpture to commemorate the play Vagina Monologues.

After it was built, then-governor John Ashcroft was embarrassed by what he called "this pornographic monstrosity." He suggested covering it up, but eventually (as everyone there does until they move to DC) accepted a Missouri Compromise that renamed the sculpture "Gateway Arch"

MO famous people from MissouriEdit

  • John Ashcroft
  • Harry Truman
  • Conrad Burns
  • Marty McFly, but only until Claire McCaskill wins the Senate seat or Rush Limbaugh decides to kill and eat him.
  • Brad, a friend who told me he was moving to Missouri. 'If you can't be smarter, move somewhere where you seem smarter."
  • Walt Disney
  • Josephine Baker
  • Yogi Berra
  • Mart Twain
  • Martha Jane Canary
  • George Washington Carver
  • Walter Cronkite
  • Jesse James
  • Virgil Thomson
  • Edwin Hubble

Not bad...

Strange Laws in MissouriEdit

It is illegal to have sex with animals that way over 40 pounds.

External TubesEdit

DBB bockbier

ist Deutsch, und hat eine bessere Bier als wir.

Es ist Bier braucht nicht bearbeitet, aber ich denke, man sollte alles ändern.

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