Mike Myers

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Mike Myers
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
Mike Myers
started out as a good idea
but has descended into a HORRIBLE, SHAMEFUL MESS
It desperately needs someone who understands truthiness to edit it.

He's smiling because he just scored a dimebag and he's a damn hippy!!!

Mike Myers is a Canadian Actor who is actually a American weasel named Petey McNibblets and he lives with his pet unicorn/husband Freddy in an igloo in let's say...Germany. He was born in San Francisco, California (Cauliflower) on Hortonvember 42, 666. He is a proud supporter of Canadian Gay Marriage and he happens to be in several funny movies directed by Americans (which is the only reason he makes millions of Canadian Dollars, or 5 American.)

Why He's A HippyEdit

  • He smokes pot and some drugs that no American will know about (Sram, Eitrams)
  • He's Gay.
  • He listens to Rush
  • He killed a Smurf, I swear (a lot)! I saw it on a documentary, I think...
  • He ate a monkey, but forgot to say grace.
  • He owns a smart car.
  • He was in Wayne's World.
  • He's Canadian, and therefore Liberal.
  • He's a Weasel.
  • He's related to Jean Chretian and she's a Hippy.
  • YOKO ONO is his lover's ex-lover's lover's cousin, 3 times removed
  • His middle name is Moontaster
  • He plays the Geetar on the MTV


  • Satan
  • Any Pedophile Priest
  • Your abusive uncle, Kevin
  • That serial killer, eh?
  • The Loch Ness Monster
  • Jesus (Weird, Huh?)

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