Despite what you may have heard
Michael Medved
Is totally not gay!
Michael Medved
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America

Michael Medved is a true American hero. He isgay. He is an America-protector, fighting Hollywood on the airwaves and bear invasions in the air.

Like Geraldo, Michael Medved is an observant Christian.

Last NameEdit

"Medved" in the slavic (Communist) dialects means "bear." Michael's orginal last name, like his brother, Michael Savage, was Weiner. He changed his name in a cunning and successful trick to make Communists, bears, and Communist bears think they could trust him. Working under Ronald Reagan in the 80's, he foiled many of their attempts to take over America.

Since in recent years the gays have become as big a threat to America as the Communists, Michael Medved has developed an effeminate persona, trying to repeat his success luring the enemy his way.

Like Geraldo, Michael Medved sports a beautiful and masculine mustache.

It is said that he can eat up to five pounds of cheese at one time, and drink a quart of brown mustard to wash it down.


Michael Medved likes movies as well as musicals. He was on the television program called "Sneak Previews" and since then has fought for family values on the big screen.


Today Michael Medved can be heard on his national radio program, defending Mel Gibson's reputation.


Medved is a frequent contributor to all-American blog, He has successfully fought off liberal ideas such as slavery and Native Americans [1] with his patriotic blogs.

In October 2007, Medved took on the idea of Human Trafficking. He researched his gut for six reasons why liberals are wrong about slavery:[2]

1. Sex slavery is the oldest profession

2. Only a small number of people actually participated in a limited number of places, and that was before they were perfected as Christians

3. Though brutal, sex slavery isn't genocide. Live sex slaves brought in more profit than dead ones (dead ones still made money, just not as much).

4. It is not true that America became a wealthy nation while ignoring sex slavery. The most prosperous states in the country were those that helped their sex slaves to become self-employed private contractors

5. While America deserves no unique blame for the existence of sex slavery, we merit special credit for having the loudest population against it

6. There is no reason to believe that today's hoes would be better off if their ancestors had remained in the Dominican Republic.

See AlsoEdit




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