Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 5 minute interview
Servings Per Container 1 small Jew
Amount Per Serving
  • 0% daily allowance of flavor
  • 0% daily allowance of hot dogs
  • 0% daily allowance of apple pie
  • 0% daily allowance of hot dog pie
Michael Jacobson
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process



knows the calorie content of everything

makes him a great dinner guest

Center for Science in the Public Interest

science of bummerology

pay extra to get fat saturated (value added)

doesn't like hot dogs or apple pie (or hot dog pie)

  • salt or nitrates
  • white flour

hates all foods that are flavorful and that people would like to eat

cancer and constipation

advertise healthy food

everyone knows healthy food contain no flavor

serving size is too small

tried to dis AmeriCone Dream

Stephen's ice cream is an anti-depressant

and saves people money because you can get your daily allowance of saturated fat

Stephen can legally hit his guests

if you eat popcorn, you may as well slap your children

transfat is partially hydrogenated oil used in fast food frying Jacobson says heart attack, Dr. Colbert says "reinforce" strong enough to stop a bullet

hard arteries are reinforcement (inner kevlar)

killed the trans fat industry

wants people to cut down on salt

Jesus said you are the salt of the earth

the apostles all died of congestive heart failure

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