Merlin was a wizard in King Arthur's Court. He was kind of like a less cool Gandalf, because while he did all the crazy enigmatic-but-ultimately-meaningful wisdom-doling-out stuff you'd expect, Merlin did so without any smoke rings or fireworks. On the other hand, he did live backwards through time, which is pretty damn cool.
But in the end, old Merlin got locked away in a cave (or a glass tower, depending upon which legendary retelling you're being legendarily retold) by a hot witch chick who may or may not have been King Arthur's sister and/or the mother of his (Arthur's) child (again, may/may not have been sister). If my sentences seem convoluted, I suggest you try living backward in time, asshole. I'm less than a zygote right now - and my grammar is still better than most vanity posters.
Traditionally, Merlin decides who will serve as Prime Minister of Great Britain and when they should step down.
This entry would be better if that bitch hadn't locked me up in here with a PC. I told her that Macs would make a comeback, but she was always shortsighted in her fore-sight. I guess them's the breaks.