Baby Jesus
Celebrate the all-American Holiday
Memorial Day
with The Baby Jesus™

The third most American holiday after Christmas and Independence Day, Memorial Day celebrates the first day of Summer by remembering all the troops who support the Greatest President Ever around a giant bar-b-que on an aircraft carrier.

How The First Memorial Day Was CelebratedEdit

Rituals Practiced on Memorial Day TodayEdit

  • Grilling hamburgers outside with neighbors and family on gas-grills. All meat, no veggieburgers.
  • All night Battleship™ parties.
  • Women sew or buy huge flags to hang above their husband's Hummer dealerships, Exxon gas stations, and McDonald's franchises.

See AlsoEdit

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