Matt Hasselbeck
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America

Plays football and his sister in law, Elizabeth, is the greatest personality in the history of American Broadcasting.

Matt supports Our President 1000%

Football CareerEdit

Matt is not gay. On the field of play, he is the player who barks orders at the other players as his hands rest delicately under the bum of the player who will thrust the ball to him so play can begin. Once Matt has the ball, he will toss it to another player, not because Matt cannot run with it, but every other player is usually faster than Matt and won't drop the ball with the frequency he does.

Sometimes Matt will throw the ball to another player. Matt does this with an unrivaled masculinity due to his ungayness.

Matt has an unbroken streak in the football championship playoffs.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.