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discusses one of the Liberal's Ridiculous Theories and Notions.

Mathematics has something to do with numbers and symbols, what exactly is never clear, because the people who study mathematics, Mathologists, are secretive and a little prissy.

History of Mathology

Prehistoric Mathemagicalism

Mathematics has a long illustrious past, starting with cavemen all the way up through just before the first atomic bomb. Terrorists were considered the first mathologists, which probably explains why they are so mad all the time, and why they hate Our Freedoms™.

Mathematics were originally developed as a means of torture (we don't torture) for unruly farm hands.

Ancient Greek Mathology

In ancient Greece (about 15BC), a group of non-mainstream mathematicians decided to make up numerical rules and values on their own, owing to the fact that they were repelled and "unconfessed" by the mainstream. They are now known as mathologists. They used x, y, z as mathological initial make-up numbers. As time passed, they recorded their research and discoveries by depicting them on large stone pillars and stoneboards.

Medieval Mathalculus

There has been a great conflict between mathematics and religion throughout history. In the 1600s, Sir Issac Newton proposed a definitive proof that the Earth was flat, and that the sun revolved around Earth. When mathologists learned of his discovery, they promptly imprisoned Newton and demanded that he destroy his work. When Newton refused, apples were thrown on his head, which caused extensive brain injuries and later caused delusions that led to the now popular Myth of Gravity.

Terrorist Link in Mathematics

Because of the secrecy and confusion associated with mathematics, many Americans have suspected a link to evil-doing, and, naturally, we were right.

Mathologists consistently communicate to each other with Arabic Numerals which cannot be understood by non-terrorists. Jesus used Roman Numerals but efforts to get Roman numerology taught in the public schools have been thwarted by liberals.


Al-Jabr (pronounced: al-JA-JA-Gabor-abrr) was a terrorist born long before terrorists wrapped towels around their heads, in fact, some say al-Jabr was the first terrorist to wrap a towel around his head. As frightening as that sounds, al-Jabr was not finished with his torturous designs on mankind; he also invented algebra.

Al-Jabr invented algebra, algebra sucks, therefore: al-Jabr sucks--how's that for transitive property, huh al-Jabr?


Besides spelling his name wrong, and making it hard to convert to something easy for Americans to say, al-Khwarizimi (pronounced al-Kwar-NAMBLI) may have been the first obsessive-compulsive. The intense attention to every single, freakin' detail no matter how small associated with obsessive-compulsives, allowed al-Khwarizimi to invent algorithms, which have something to do with ordered instructions for the performance of a task. It is believed that al-Khwarizimi used his "special ability" (as Mama Khwarizimi used to call it) to oversee more sleeper cells than any other terrorist before the invention of computers and cell phones.

Al-Khwarizimi won "Neatest Cave" 14 years in a row, and was featured in Cave Digest 20 April, 799 C.E.

Development of Mathology

Mathologists used x,y,z as the made-up units of a number system until Joseph Macroch introduced the concept of Greek-letter made-up units theory. This theory suggests everything is made up of numbers and can be represented by numbers. He proposed numbers have different properties like masses and density, except they have the same size.

The devout christians once critized this as an opposition to theory of creation of God, that is, everything on this planet is living and is created by God. The dispute soared until Joseph Macroch showed them evidence that numbers really exist by using his experimental set-up.

Joseph Macroch passed a beam of light though the mathoconvertor, an instrument that is used to convert matters into numberical representations. Since light is regarded as a matter, numberical structure of light was shown. Since then, the theory that matters are made up of numbers was generally accepted.

Structure of light:


condensed form:


Remarks: Do not remove this page, as this is the important cornerstone of mathological development

Rabbit Contributions to Mathematics (Obsolete Theories)


The only way mathologists can say rabbits do not have holes: to pretend

In 2006, the factonistas in charge of mathological properties and documentation, (all ideas abhorent to good Americans) decided to bring back a theory that had been abandoned by all but the most truthy mathologists.

Non-Hole Mathology

The theory, called, "Non-Holed Rabbitology", posited that rabbits had no holes. The abusrdity of that statement was so obvious to the Americans of earth before it became round, that it was rightfully allowed to slip into obscurity.

No one is completely sure where or when the theory started, but it was resurrected recently when the ICM awarded someone other than Dr. Colbert their "Mrs. Fields Medal", which was really just a cookie and a gay ribbon.

Hole Mathology

Pioneered by Dr. Colbert, Rabbit-Hole Mathology declares that rabbits do have holes, otherwise how could they reproduce? That truthyism should be, on its own, enough to sway even them most militant Non-Holist. But the Non-holists ranks remain closed in a world, ironically, without a hole through which truthiness can enter.

Organization of Modern Mathology

Founded in 1975, The Royal Society of Mathological Research (RSMR) is responsible for standardization of all mathological rules, theories, properties, nomenclature and geometry and structure

Latest Publication from the RSMR:

The followings are items that have been eliminated from the field of mathology, these include:

Hole and Non-Hole Mathology
Trigonometric Mathology
Visual Mathology

Highlights of Recent research include

May, 2008

  • Complex Numbers' formation and their nomenclatures
  • Biotic Factors of Mathology eg. (2tri)^120|2,5 .cyclo
  • Endomicrolionic Interactions

June, 2008

  • macrosystem arises from multicomplex number
  • interlocking theory (underway by Felix Ottoman)
  • potential mathology (Jointly investigated by M.McCart and L.M.Rollen)

Fundamentals of Mathology

Made-up Symbols


Made-up Units

Numbers are arranged in ascending order of their masses.
ε < Σ < θ < φ < α < β < π < σ < η < μ < λ < γ < Ω
We take the mass of a "θ" as 0, then by proportionality rule, the followings are the masses of different numbers with respect to θ
0.0000000025 < 0.00000035 < 0 < 1.02 < 3 < 5.5 < 7.25 < 12.5 < 17.25 < 20.05 < 35.75 < 54.25 < 75

Mathological Studies and related Theorems

Mathological First Theory

Number remains number; Ray remains Ray

Time-inductive mathology is the study of relationships between periodical decay and natures of numbers.

Time inductive theory states that a number or any form of number will undergo a periodical alternation or disintegration of its own accord, without being affected by external energy or agents.
Numbers will gradually be broken down and disintegrated into smaller pieces (similar to irreducible complexity[1]). The scattered parts disappear and fall into the spatial zone through turbulence.

Endomicrolionic Mathology

It is a study of mathology regarding the properties and phenomena of a endomicrolion, which is the make-up component of a microlion.

Recent Study - Abstract Mathology

It includes a series of studies of numerical properties including Indefinite, Definite, and Natural Mathology
Indefinite Mathology - A study of Infinity (∞)
Definite Mathology - A study of Natural Zero, which is different from common zero.
Rational and Irrational Mathology - Studies of rationality of numbers.
Natural Mathology - A study of properties of prime and compound numbers, and their factors. (Indefinite factors)
Example 1: Evaluate the number of factors an infinity (∞) has
Answer : ±∞

Practical Mathology

Is a classification of Mathological studies, mainly dealing with practical therories.
Syllabus of Fundamental Mathology (50 items in total)
  • Stability Theory
  • Non-chained Interactions
  • Structure and Geometry
  • Properties of Chain
  • Reactions and Responses
  • Agents
  • Physical Properties of Numbers
  • Polarization of numbers
  • Other Species and their properties

Real Rules

1. Root2 2

2. Lim

3. Six equals 6

4. AnyNumber

5. pi · e = pie

6. \frac{56}{67} = 5/7 (divide out the 6's)

7. \frac{(30 Months+250,000USDollars+2 Years Probation)}{(Cover up+Unlimited Funds)*Commutation}=0

In mathology, any number can equal any other number!

8. The Transitive Property of Hate states that when an anonymous, and hate-filled posting appears on a blog, the hate is then assumed by the person or entity running the blog.Episode #299 See also: Ku Kos Klan

9. The Measure of Success for a Surge

  • given a limited population (P)
  • within that limited population is a number of people (R) who will have the resources to leave if a civil war occurs
  • another subset within that limited population is the number of people (D) who will be killed because they will not be able to leave if a civil war occurs
  • the limited population finds themselves in a civil war (Ha)
  • a new population is calculated as shown in the formula: T=P-R, where T is the total of the remaining population, P is the old population and R is the number of people who had the resources to leave unscathed now that there is a civil war
  • before calculating the success of the surge, subtract the number of persons killed before the surge is implemented, as shown in the formula: N=T-D, where N is the population after the number of dead (D) are subtracted from the total remaining population, T
  • Note: N is always less than T, which is always less than P
  • However, as long as N is greater than D, success is achieved, shown in the formula: if N>D, then U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

10. Pund Phenomenon

Optimum Speed is the speed that owned by a single number, which travels in a non-polarized, normal condition. The number moves in a way such that it flows slowly in wave motion towards particular directions.

  V = (value of number) / 10 

When the single number is accelerated by an accelerator, wave amplitude and wavelength gradually decrease to zero. The single number moves in limtied speed then convergence speed, it is calculated by:

  Vc = [e(Va)]^2 ; where a is the acceleration

As time passes, the single number moves in convergence speed. It's then gradually disintegrated into smaller parts, known as "microlions". Energy is released in the process, it's calculated by:

  E(KJ) = log Vc

Practical Applications of Mathology In Everyday Life


To display data in chart form for easy analysis

Mathology allows users to:

  • distribute goods, such as fruit among several participants
  • determine the arrival time of different modes of transportation
  • pre-determine the number of domestic fowl prior to successful completion of incubation

Famous Mathologists

  • al-Jabr
  • al-Khwarizimi
  • that crazy guy from Opie's movie
  • that hot chick from Desperate Housewives and Lois and Clark - for reference, check out that one episode of Quantum Leap
  • that hot chick from Wonder Years
  • Data on Star Trek
  • That guy from Mepos on Perfect Strangers
  • Ramanujan
  • al-Turing
  • Bonner's Chanter (Bonner's Plan)
  • Thomas Davis (Davis' Phenomenon)
  • Catala Dejuvue (Polarization Theory)
  • Al Zemar (Static Space Theory)
  • C.L. Longman (Angular Movement)

Mathology Awards

  • Every year the Royal Society of Mathological Research nominates mathologists who have made immense contributions in the field. The Rhombus Award is presented, together with 100 thousand dollars.
  • Mathologists give out an award called the "Mrs. Fields Medal" but they haven't given one to Stephen Colbert, so to hell with them.

See Also

External Sources

is science-related, sending it straight to hell.

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