Master Chief

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Baby Jesus
Master Chief
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
Master Chief
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America

In All His Shining Glory


Master Chief's true identity

Master Chief, the hero of the halo series, is actually a combination of Chuck Norris, Stephen Colbert, and Jesus, all encased in the holy suit of MJOLNIR power armor created by God. The Chief is a super-human defender of truthiness, and is 100% grade A republican. He fights the covenant, an alien league that allies itself to the democratic party. The Chief convinced the Elites, led by the Arbiter, to give up their evil ways and fight on the side of democracy. The Chief and the Elites now fight brutes. There are rumors that the Chief will run for president in 2012 to defend democracy in distant places such as Arkansas and Hawaii.

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