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Marmite

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Imp clones of Adolf Hitler use Nazi propaganda to pitch Marmite as an "open secret."


Marmite was discovered by accident at a Nazi genetic engineering facility in 1944 by a team of scientists devoted to the cloning of Hitler.

After a botched experiment with mixing DNA from Adolf Hitler’s cryogenically frozen testicles (from his sex change), and the fetus of a bear, the scientists unintentionally created two nearly-perfect Imp clones of the Furor. Unfortunately, the Imps immediately killed the scientists after inception.

Hitler’s remaining scientists cleverly captured the Imps with a Vegemite lure. (Everyone knows how much clone freaks and carneys love Vegemite.)

Once captured, scientists put the Imps through a series of psychological experiments, including branding the word “Good” on their evil little faces.

Later that same year, the Imps created Marmite, a mixture of varmints and bear scat, as they had grown weary of Vegemite. Nazi scientists were overwhelmed at the positive psychological effect the Marmite had on the Imps, and started a world-wide sales pitch that eventually drove the wicked testicly-cloned Imps to good.

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