Mark Bittman
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process

March 3, 2009 NailingEdit


  • has written a guide to conscious eating, Dr. Colbert asks why he doesn't write one on conscious breathing?
  • his book implies that Dr. Colbert could be eating while unconscious
  • before getting into bed, Dr. Colbert likes to dip a little bit of bacon, so that he can have the flavor while he's sleeping
    • just a pinch between his cheek and gum and he can enjoy the full bacon flavor without lighting up
  • Bittman says people eat without thinking
    • Dr. Colbert reminds him that we're so good at it, it's natural
  • Bittman says that there is twice as much food as we need to sustain ourselves in the U.S.
    • he claims that Americans feel compelled to eat all of it
  • he describes the way Americans eat as:
    • we eat without thinking about what's good for ourselves
    • we eat without thinking about what's good for our planet
  • Dr. Colbert is conscious of one thing regarding his eating:
    • he likes to eat things that were once conscious
    • he would dig into a head of broccoli, but only if it could cry
  • Bittman says while writing his book, he changed his diet 60-70% (not completely)
  • he claims of the three pounds of food that every American eats every:
    • about one half a pound of it is meat
    • and a pound and a half of it is other animal products
    • the remainder is mostly processed food or junk food
  • he says he is a vegan until 6 p.m.
    • after that, anything goes
    • may only be true for food
  • Bittman claimed that serving a family of four a steak dinner uses the same amount of energy as having that family drive around in an SUV for three hours while every light is on in their house
    • Dr. Colbert wondered if the family was cooking the steak in petroleum
    • and if he could do both because he likes to eat while he drives
      • Bittman conceded that driving a Prius and eating a steak dinner might be possible
  • Bittman says that the UN says that 1/6th to 1/5th of all greenhouse gases come from industrial livestock production (or Robot Cows)
    • America turns out 10 billion widget-cows every year (which comes to approximately 30 animals per person per year)
  • eating three fewer cheeseburgers every week would be equivalent to taking all the SUVs off the road
    • because Americans would finally be skinny enough to fit back into regular-sized cars
  • the book does not have a chart to show what is equivalent to a cheeseburger
  • we could be healthier
  • help the environment
  • reduce global warming
  • Bittman was unable to tell Dr. Colbert what the one thing he should eat would be, so they decided to discuss it next time

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