Remember: If we don't spel Jons name corectist, the'll think were dum. And no bodi will no who he is.
And we want them to no. So they no he has s A Treason!
Take It Down A Notch For America
Rally to Restore Sanity (The TReason Rally)
- (March of the TReasonable, Restoring TReasonableness, Restore Sanity Rally, Restoring Sanity Rally, Rally for TReason, Jon Stewart's Clownish Conspiracy to Coopt Colbert's March Rally)
is a libural movement trying to undermine our efforts to restore Truthiness!
It wasnt enough for you to steal Stephen's Emmy, now you are trying to steal his rally?! You Naughty Boy!!!
Jon Stewart AND OUR GLORIOUS STEPHEN COLBERT!
Rally to Restore Sanity before Real Americans take over. Fat chance, libural.
When the Anti-Christ is given birth 10/30/10, to piss off Colbert
From 12pm to 3pm, I heard they are bringing babies to eat them in a Satanic Ritual BBQ. BYOB2BBQ. Sarah Palin, blessed be her Holiness of Truthiness, learned about "blood libel" there.
The National Mall in Washington, D.C. The hell you will! That's our spot!!! (Oh, wait - ummm, thanks, we'll share - BUT THEN WE"LL TAKE OVER!! BWAHAHAHA!!!) No one but US holds a rally next to the US Capitol!
What to Wear:Edit
- Anything that screams "I am a Traitor" or "I Hate Truthiness!"
If you don't have wings to fly to Washington or you have sh#t to do then your only redeeming chance is to listen in on the police scanner or watch it on C-Span
"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
(Translation: I'm really crazy & I've stopped my antipsychotics)
Who among us has not wanted to open their window and shout that at the top of their lungs?
Me. I want to walk out my front door and say "Good Morning. Mr Postman. Do you have a package for me?"
Stephen, because he's afraid screaming out an open window will attract bears. and Mooslims.
Because we're looking for those people. We're looking for the people who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive, and terrible for your throat; who feel that the loudest voices shouldn't be the only ones that get heard; (except at the hog-calling, hollering contest in Lizard Lick, NC) and
who believe that the only time it's appropriate to draw a Hitler mustache on someone is when that person is actually Hitler.
Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles.
Are you one of those people? Excellent. Then we'd like you to join us in Washington, DC on October 30 -- a date of no significance whatsoever -- at the Daily Show's "Rally to Restore Sanity." Ours is a rally for the people who've been too busy to go to rallies, who actually have lives and families and jobs (or are looking for jobs) -- not so much the Silent Majority as the Busy Majority. If we had to sum up the political view of our participants in a single sentence... we couldn't. That's sort of the point.
Think of our event as Woodstock, but with the nudity and drugs (Yes, that means NO pot, either) replaced by respectful disagreement; the Million Man March, only a lot smaller, and a bit less of a sausage fest; or the Gathering of the Juggalos, but instead of throwing our feces at Tila Tequila, we'll be actively *not* throwing our feces at Tila Tequila. (What about Burning Man? Can we think about it as Burning Man, only cooler & with womens & childrens?) Join us in the shadow of the Washington Monument. (Uh, wait a minute... No shadows at noon... and we'll be too far from the tall pointy thing anyway...) And bring your indoor voice. Or don't. If you'd rather stay home, go to work, or drive your kids to soccer practice... Actually, please come anyway. Ask the sitter if she can stay a few extra hours, just this once. We'll make it worth your while. -- Jon Stewart
You suck, Jon Stewart!! -- Mutopis
If you want to join the un-american hippie rally, go here (pussy) along with these other pinko liberals:
- Bad Boy Hippie Jonny "Ring o' Rosies" Stewart
- Dwight Schrute (Traitor)
- Oprah Winfrey (?!) I hear she's flooding the entire Eastern Seaboard to bring her entire TV viewing audience to this TiTanic rally.
- Arianna Huffington (she will travel to the rally on her magical bus)
- The Mooslim. More evidence that Jon Stewart is a puppet of the Obama Administration.
NPRcowards The Libural Media
- Larry King
The Sanity BusEdit
- Sanity Bus Info
- The Sanity Bus Twitter
- Over 4000 Traitors signed for the communist bus
- and for the price tag of $250,000 you too can own a Socialist Bus... see, socialism makes everything expensive... next time use the free market bus.
Those interested in riding the Socialist Bus before it reaches the FEMA concentration camp must sing up the socialist list to gather data on American citizens.
Jon's Rally Taken Over by:Edit
- Alien Pod People
- Mooslim Alien Pod People
- Gay Mooslim Alien Pod People
Joint Mission with Team FearEdit
There is one thing we can all agree on, Conan must not know about this!
Sign Suggestions for Champions of Truthiness!!Edit
Spelling Mandatory Pleeze Spell Awl Sines Corect Becose Thats Hou Smart Peple Rite
- I Disagree with you, But I'm Sure You are Not Hitler. I'll draw a mustache on you anyway.
- Got Competence? No, but WE have Stephen!
- 9/11 Was an Outside Job The planes stayed outside, for a while, anyway.
- Legalize Pot. Shoot the Pot Smokers!
- I am Not Afraid of Muslims/Tea Partiers/Socialists/Immigrants/Gun Owners/Gays
But I am Scared of Spiders and Liberals
- Medicare IS Government Health Care; Suck it, old people!
- Social Security is Not Welfare. Suck it, old people!
- Can We Have Tacos Tonight? No illegal alien food!
- I am Not Rich But I Like to Pretend That I am By Demanding More Tax Cuts. Suck it, poor people!
- More Brains, Less Guts, even fewer Glenn Becks.
- Freedom of Speech Does NOT Mean Freedom from Criticism. Fool!
- Support Our Troops. Stop Neglecting Our Returning Veterans. Start ignoring them, instead.
- I dont Like Republicans But I dont Think They are Working for The Taliban. They ARE the Taliban.
- Osama Bin Laden is Not a Republican, I asked Him. See above. He lied.
- I'm afraid of people who aren't reasonable. That's using MY definition of reasonable.
- My kid's here. Keep it down! And hide all those vodka bottles, would you?
Bring the fear, go to this tube site to suggest an official sign!
John Stewart: I Have a Speech!Edit
And now I thought we might have a moment, however brief, for some sincerity; if that’s ok, I know there are boundaries for a comedian pundit talker guy, and I’m sure I’ll find out tomorrow how I have violated them.
I’m really happy you guys are here. Even if none of us are really quite sure why we are here. Some of you may have seen today as an clarion call for action. Or some of the hipper more ironic cats as a “clarion call for action.” Clearly some of you wanted to see the Air and Space Museum and got royally screwed. And I’m sure a lot of you are just here to have a nice time, and I hope you did.
I know many of you made a great deal of effort to be here today, and I want you to know that everyone involved with this project worked incredibly hard to make sure the we honored the effort that you put in, and gave you the best show that we could possibly do. We know your time’s valuable, and we didn’t want to waste it. And we are all extremely honored to have had a chance to perform on this beautiful space, on the mall in Washington D.C..
So uhhh, what exactly was this?
I can’t control what people think this was. I can only tell you my intentions.
This was not a Rally to ridicule people of faith, or people of activism, or to look down our noses at the heartland, or passionate argument; or to suggest that times are not difficult, and that we have nothing to fear-they are and we do! But we live now in hard times, not end times. And we can have animus and not be enemies. But unfortunately, one our main tools in delineating the two… broke.
The country’s 24-hour politico pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems; but its existence makes solving them that much harder. The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems, bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen. Or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then, perhaps, host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected, dangerous, flaming ant epidemic. If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.
There are terrorists, and racists, and Stalinists, and theocrats, but those are titles that must be earned; you must have the resume. Not being able to distinguish between real racists, and Tea Partiers; or real bigots and Juan Williams or Rick Sanchez is an insult! Not only to those people, but to the racists themselves who have put in the exhausting effort it takes to hate. Just as the inability to distinguish terrorists from Muslims makes us less safe, not more.
The press is our immune system, if it overreacts to everything, we actually get sicker, and perhaps eczema.
And yet with that being said, I feel good; strangely calmly good. Because the image of Americans that is reflected back to us by our political and media process is false. It is us through a fun house mirror. And not the good kind that makes you look slim in the waist and maybe taller. But the kind where you have a giant forehead, and an ass shaped like a month old pumpkin, and one eye ball.
So why would we work together. Why would you reach across the aisle to a pumpkin-assed forehead eyeball monster? If the picture of us were true, of course our inability to solve problems would actually be quite sane and reasonable. Why would you work with Marxists actively subverting our Constitution? Or racists and homophobes who see no one else’s humanity but their own?
We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is, on the brink of catastrophe, torn by polarizing hate, and how its a shame how we can’t work together to get things done.
But the truth is, we do. We work together to get things done every damn day! The only place we don't is here [points to the US Capitol], or on cable TV. But Americans don't live here [the US Capitol] or on Cable TV. Where we live our values and principles form the foundation that sustains us while we get things done, not the barriers that prevent us from getting things done. Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats, Republicans, liberals or conservatives. Americans live their lives more as people that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often something that they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things everyday that are only made possible through the little reasonable compromises we all make.
Look, look on the screen, [Referencing a screen playing footage of cars slowly inching through traffic, Stewart used the image of the highway as metaphor for how Americans make those compromises, ceding the road when necessary and recognizing that everyone is headed toward a similar goal], this is where we are, this is who we are, these cars. That’s a school teacher that probably thinks his taxes are too high, he’s going to work. There’s another car, a woman with two small kids, really can’t think about anything else right now. There’s another car, swinging, I don’t even know if you can see it. The lady’s in the NRA and loves Oprah. There’s another car, an investment banker, gay, also likes Oprah. Another car is a Latino carpenter, another car, a fundamentalist vacuum salesman, atheist obstetrician, Mormon JZ fan. But this is us! Every one of the cars that you see is filled with individuals of strong belief and principles they hold dear. Often principles and beliefs in direct opposition to their fellow travelers. And yet these millions of cars somehow find a way to squeeze one-by-one into a mile-long, 30-foot wide tunnel carved underneath a mighty river. Carved by people, by the way, who I’m sure had their differences.
And they do it. Concession by concession. You go, then I’ll go, you go, then I’ll go, you go, then I’ll go. Oh my god! Is that an NRA sticker on your car!? Is that an Obama sticker on your car!? Ah-well, that’s okay, you go, then I’ll go. And sure, at some point there will be a selfish jerk who zips up the shoulder and cuts in at the last minute, but that individual is rare, and he is scorned, and not hired as an analyst. Because we know, instinctively as a people, that if we are to get through the darkness, and back into the light, we have to work together. And the truth is, there will always be darkness, and sometimes the light at the end of a tunnel isn’t the promise land; sometimes it's just New Jersey. But we do it anyway, together.
If you want to know why I am here, and what I want from you. I can only assure you this: you have already given it to me. Your presence was what I wanted. Sanity will always be, and has always been, in the eye of the beholder. And to see you here today, and the kind of people that you are, has restored mine.
-Jon Stewart 10/30/2010 at The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.
Fox News Declares Sanity Rally a Big FailureEdit
Fox News has declared John's rally an utter failure, not only that but there is evidence that John Stewart was preaching violence to the crowd and spewing anti-american rhetorics.
John has failed us for the last time:
Charges of Sexism:Edit
Women were underrepresented with respect to the entertainment guests at the rally - Where were the woman guests? Where were the woman comedians? Where were the woman awarded medals? Where were the woman on stage? Restoring sanity starts with restoring equality between the sexes. Sexism is insane! The rally was a very male-dominated organized event. It appeared that women made a strong showing at the rally, but were totally not included in the event itself. Charges of sexism have been brought against Jon Stewart before for actions taken on his TV show, The Daily Show. Charges of sexism should be brought against the rally -- by a Fearful female Real American (or maybe a Feminazi).
Now we can add charges of sexism against John Stewart. Fear not fearful citizen, we shall rectify this issue by arresting all comedians and have them sent to Guantanamo Bay for treason and sexism, but mostly treason.
How The Rally to Restore Sanity Failed to Stop The Republican Takeover of The 2010 Midterm ElectionEdit
Because he is a pussy. Too much sanity, not enough guts.
Even Bill Maher thinks John's Rally was a failure:
"I want to like Maher. But I don't. Ever since he came out as a vaccine denier, I realize that he's a slightly brighter, funnier version of your average conspiracy theorist. Moreover, he's the less smart version of both Colbert and Stewart and he knows he doesn't do well in the comparison. Stewart at least makes an effort to be evenhanded in his vicious abuse. So Cons come to Stewart's show instead of Maher's where there's no hope of anything unpredictable happening, other than the timing of his shrill, vicious, often-funny comments. Stewart at least holds to the possibility of the dialectic; even though it's pretty clear where his sympathies lie. Maher prefers the echo chamber." -- Bill Maher...
Oh, wait. That is not from Bill Maher, that is from one of his liberal
fans critics that thinks that Bill Maher is a self-righteous, nearly arrogant, holier-than-thou bastard...
Official Libural TubesEdit
- March of the Reasonable Facebook
- Rally to Restore Sanity Facebook
March of the Reasonable.comMarch to Keep Fear Alive
- Jon Stewart considers stealing Colbert's thunder!
- John Stewart's hidden agenda
- John Stewart fails to understand Godwin's law 101
- Even Anarchists think John's Rally will Epic Fail
- Dammit John, Stop stealing everything!!!
- CNN declares John has a great idea. DAMMIT!
- Fox and Friends: No one wants to see Joo Boy
- John Stewart continues his support for sanity... Go pleasure yourself, Tucker Carlson
- John Stewart's hidden agenda
- Stupid Rolling Stone... giving the joo all the credit
- How Sanity Rally will harm Americans
- Is all John's fault
- John's radical rally agenda started years ago
- How sanity is weakening our Nation and emboldening our enemies
- Restoring Sanity 19th Century style
- John's Speech
- Jon's Speech on reddit
- How Sanity Rally failed
- Hippies take over Rally
- Rally Sanity brings the stoner youth
- Crowd of stoners flood Rally
- Treason Rally panders to international enemies
- Libural Media boos John Stewart
- Sanity has a libural agenda
- Times: Fear and Sanity do not mix. Like Korean Tacos
- Communist Bear supports John Stewart
- John Stewart is poisoning our fear!
- Even Liburals think Rally was a failure
- Panic Conflictinator Machines eats John Stewart
- Even communists hate the Sanity Rally
- Even other fake pundits think he failed