Male orgasm is what true-blooded Americans (male and female) do between the hours of 11:30 and midnight Monday through Thursday. Of course the Colbert Report is on five times a day so members of the Colbert nation orgasm five times daily. (Muslims pray to Mecca five times daily; members of the Colbert nation face the Colbert Studio). Of course, The Daily Show is foreplay.

The Colbert Report may be missed for intercourse only for the reason of procreation. It vital to have fans of the show in the year 2028 when Stephen gets to know all 434 districts.

If your boss won't let you orgasm by watching Colbert at work then your he (or she) is unAmerican and gets a "wag of the finger."


  • Before Colbert (B.C.) (the period of time from creation of the world until the creation of Colbert) there was no such thing as an orgasm.
  • There is enough power in the typical male orgasm to light a city block for five minutes.
  • Masturbation is baby killing and punishable by death according to the Torah and the Constitution
  • Stephen's sperm are shaped like eagles.
  • Bill Clinton's orgasm on the dress of an intern is the reason that Kim Jung Il now has nukes.
  • The female orgasm is a myth.

See AlsoEdit

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