Despite having a lot of Canadians, Maine is known as America's Head.
Back in the 1800s Canada was spreading its territory, so George H.W. Bush stopped the plague known as Canadianism from seeping into the U.S. Maine is the first, last and only line of defense between those Bear loving communists and the American people.
During World War II the Canadians finally decided to help out. Being inexperienced in any form of combat, the Canadians "accidentally" invaded The United States. This event was covered up and hid from the American people in order to keep the peace. All four Canadian soldiers were killed in combat when they were ironically killed by a bea-ah, who, ironically was their "friend."
In 1992, when George H.W. Bush decided to retire, he built a house in Maine and decided to give it the right of statehood. It has proudly retained its title evah since. Yess-ah!
Today, If you go from San Diego, California to Fort Kent, Maine, you have gone across the whole United States of America. Maine is the 2nd forestry state, behind Pennsylvania. The only problem in Maine is the massholes, but that is Taxachusetts's fault, not Maine's
Maine in CanadaEdit
Walkah's Point at Kennebunkpo-aht is the site of the Bush/Walker estate. W. tends to avoid the place because factonistas like to claim that he was bo-ahn and raised in New England whenevah he goes to the grand family estate. But the nieces and nephews and cousins (most of whom have "Walker" somewhe-ah in their names) usually get married the-ah.
- George H.W. Bush, since he's lived there for 100 years. Hey, it works for Schwarzeneggah.
- Stephen King. All his stories are true. Stay outta Derry.
- Bob Mahley (Marley). Maine's best comedian, not to be confused with that crack-head Jamaican.
- Evan Michael Howlett. Plays music. Yessah.
What Mainers Like to Talk About Edit
- The Red Sox
- The New England Patriots
- The price of gas (usually has "isn't that wicked" somewheah mentioned in the conversation...somewheah.)
- The weathah
- Local gossip (the town newspapah provides it all)
- Where Bob Mahley is doing his next show. Yessah!
A Typical Day in MaineEdit
- Get up at 4 am. to go to the lobstah boat
- Catch lobstah
- Have a couple'la beeahs
- Make fun of flatlandahs (tourists)
- Go featch some ice
- Have a couple mo-ah beeahs
- Gas up the cah and go shoppin
- Get home and have some mo-ah beeahs while watching Channel 6 News
- Take a showah and then go tah bed
Tips on Visiting Edit
- Don't go through Wiscasset in the summah. Evah. You will be stuck in traffic all day. Don't say I didn't warn you.
- Don't be an asshole. Main-ahs, as a general rule, are blunt and to the point, (much like their Massachusetts cousins) and if you're being a douche, you'll be called out on it.
- Be polite. If someone raises their hand (palm out) or nods in greeting, do it back. Otherwise you'll be outed as a follower of The Baby Satan, and you'll never make it out of Maine alive. Maybe your car will get keyed or you'll be called a "Flatlander Asshole". Either way, you'll be scarred for life.
- Nevah go to Lewiston. Evah. No. Seriously. Unless you're from the Bronx, and you're used to it. Or you live in a garbage can, and you're used to it. But even then. Don't do it.