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Lurita Alexis Doan's love for The Baby Jesus allowed her to ascend to head the General Services Administration (GSA), an office that is charged with committing it's resources, including human capital, to the Republican Party, with the goal of affecting the results of elections.
Miss Lurita displayed no reservations in her willingness to accomplish the GSA's mission.
Everyone knows that heading an entire department is hard work, but in addition to taking phone calls and filing papers, Miss Lurita attended meetings. Lots of meetings. So many meetings, in fact, she was unable to keep all of them stocked with fresh coffee!
If Miss Lurita were a man, she might have had a secretary, but because she's just a girl, she could do all that office work and still found time to offer help to other departments.
Miss Lurita was known for her spunk, and the kitten poster she had in her pink office that said,
The Hatch ActEdit
Go to hell, Nancy!
You wouldn't know about corruption Just because you're gay doesn't mean everyone else is! So don't go around projecting your "corruptive personality" onto all the Republican Goddesses to make up for your inability to get a man!
Miss Lurita's tenure at the GSA has been soiled by Pelosi's exessive investigations.
Pelosi has violated numerous commandments when she decided to go after poor Miss Lurita.
- Pelosi wrote a report that used bad language
- Pelosi made-up the Hatch Act after Miss Lurita "violated it"
- Pelosi created a 5 million question witch hunt about one single inconsequential meeting to try to trip up Miss Lurita
- Pelosi also creating new offices just so that they could ask more questions of Miss Lurita regarding how she helped her friends get jobs, which is not against the law!
Miss Lurita Bravely Responds To Her CriticsEdit
Representing Miss Lurita is her attorney, Michael J. Nardotti Jr.
Mr. Nardotti says Pelosi's approach and tone are tremendously unfair and disagrees with her conclusions about his client's love for The Baby Jesus
Mr. Nardotti also has denied any wrongdoing on Miss Lurita's part.
Investigate This Pelosi!Edit
The Greatest President Ever has vowed to step in on June 1, 2007 if Nancy doesn't knock her shit off.