12,423pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0
Austin Powers
Does Love-making
make you horny, baby?

Using the obvious pen-name "Alex Comfort", Dr. Colbert has written a series of books to share his knowlege

Invented by Stephen Colbert, Love-making is different than sex, despite common belief. Sex refers to something painful and embarassing. Love-making refers to something only described as Stephen-esque. Stephen himself is the master at love-making. In fact, the only way to engage in love-making is to picture your partner (of the opposite sex -- homosexuality is for Godless Sodomites) as Mr. Colbert. Some extreme love-makers have even taken it so far as to dressing up like Mr. Colbert himself.

The Colbert Report revs you up for love-making. Stephen suggests a trial separation if this doesn't happen, as it is hopeless. A way to strengthen the relationship is to engage in love-making after every thought of Stephen. Thinking about truthiness? Get naked. Thinking about Stephen's glasses? Make love. Thinking about how you can't wait until The Colbert Report is over (see: Blasphemy) so you can roll around under silk blankets exploring sexual fantasies? Make sweet, sweet love until the end of the next new show. It's what the Baby Jesus would want.

Love-making Factoids Edit

  • It cures AIDS
  • It feels great
  • There are 27 different ways of love-making, but only Mr. Colbert knows the other 26 ways.
  • Makes babies
  • The only 2 known ways to resist love-making after watching The Colbert Report is to think of bears or to watch head on commercials.
  • It is exclusive to heterosexuals
  • 69 may be included
  • BJ's are acceptable

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki