"Lonely Hearts Ads"
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In today's world people often struggle to find the time for love and companionship. And celebrities, politicians and other "important" people are particularly vulnerable to letting the personal needs fall behind their overwhelming ego urges.

But contributors can help!

Help a needy famous person today by submitting a lonely hearts ad on their behalf. Assist them in finding solace with another kindred soul, connect with new friends, or just get some hot tail.

Simply submit your ads below. And don't forget to sign your name afterwards, so the celebrities or politicians in question will know who to blame thank when their unrealized romance dream comes true!

Submit Ads BelowEdit

Bank Boy Gone BadEdit

Well-groomed neocon seeks woman for friendship and more. Must Have Her Own Job!

Adopt A PMEdit

  • Unpopular socialist neo-con British Prime Minister seeks loving North American country for asylum, residual income, and more! Please send profiles to 10 Downing Street, London, UK.

Desperate in WashingtonEdit

  • Totally unpretentious mostly female former oil executive looking for work in the National Football League. Will do whatever is necessary, up to and including hiring one of them as a beard when the Queen of England visits America.

    Either gender, must make over $2 million/year, No fatties.

Youngsters WantedEdit

  • Top notch architect and political brain. Me: soft and doughy; you: rock hard, youthful. Best if you are a Dominican national or other "brown brother" Will pay in cash or oxycontin. Email me on my RNC addy.

To The Moon!Edit

  • Science-minded woman looking for for a one-woman man. long-distance relationship. Serious responses only, no game playing. My love is real and I if I could I would drive cross-country non-stop to show you. I've done it before, and if I wasn't temporarily prevented from any travelling, I would do it again to show you how serious I am.

Looking for PresidencyEdit

  • Rich Taxachusetts Scientologist Mormon desperately seeks Republican Party acceptance and Presidential nomination. I support marriage and have always opposed supported opposed abortion. Most importantly, I hate the French, and would therefore make a fantastic President. Free Winter Olympic bid for every state which gives me a primary win!

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