Linus Pauling

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Linus Pauling studies science-related stuff,
guaranteeing him a one-way ticket straight to hell.


Linus Pauling, the "praised" American scientist is truly stupid. He proposed the structure of DNA to be a triple helix with the negatively charged phosphate molecules in the center. Obviously, someone skipped a class of chemistry, and forgot that molecules of the same charge repel, which would make the structure fall apart instantly. Pauling somehow never realized that and failed in this attempt.

As the picture indicates, Linus Pauling obviously had a few loose screws...


Pauling attented the prestigious, internationally acclaimed Oregon State University, better known for its recent sports teams, and then went on to attend school at California Institute of Technology, which makes no sense because he is a chemist, not a tech geek. Perhaps Bellevue Community College's Chem 101 could have taught him a few things.

Contributions To ScienceEdit

Pauling attempted to fool the world of people smarter than him with his triple helix theory. Luckily, he was caught red-handed by Jim Watson and Francis Crick.


If you were one of the unlucky students who took "Chemistry for Home Economic Majors" taught by Linus Pauling himself, please contact the University or one of Pauling's distant relatives for a full refund. We understand how little you may have learned, if anything at all and extend our most sincere condolences to your tormented soul.

What's With Those Damn Teeth?Edit

It appears that Pauling might have British ancestry and inherited their poor dental hygiene.

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