"Lindon Labs"
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The public face of Lindon Labs. What does that say about the guys behind the scenes?!

In the hallowed tradition of money-losing liberal "corporations", Lindon Labs is... a money-losing liberal "corporation". Their sole product is Second Life, a virtual world for teenagers who lack the balls to kill things.[1]

Not For ProfitEdit

Not surprisingly, Lindon Labs is either unwilling to or incapable of making money.[2] Most of their time goes into corrupting the kids with their "cool" virtual realm filled with pornography, and into experimenting on innocent stem cells.[3]

Lindon Labs anticipate turning a profit from Second Life sometime around 2041. They'd just better hope World of Warcraft doesn't attack Second Life before then or they're in trouble. Worse still, Stephen Colbert's World of ColbertCraft could invade and kick their asses into oblivion!

Company StructureEdit

Though Lindon Labs' organizational chart remains a mystery, we at suspect it looks something like this:

                              President : Fidel Castro
      |                                 |                     |
  COO : Ursa the bear               CTO : Dr. Doom        CFO : Bear Sterns

Future Lindon Labs ProductsEdit

Rumors[4] abound that Lindon Labs has several software projects in the hopper. These include:

  • Second Lung : the virtual world in which chronic smokers can pretend to be athletically able again.
  • Studio Fifty-Bear : a 24-hour virtual den of iniquity filled with slutty bears for sick liberals to enjoy.
  • Tom Clancy's Splinter Stem Cell : players get to rush around with guns stolen from the NRA and kill innocent stem cells.


  1. The perfect breeding ground for Canada's army of tomorrow.
  2. Hey Lindon Labs... 2001 called: you're late for its dot-bomb!
  3. They're a lab - it's right there in their name!
  4. Possibly started by us.

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