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Library of Congress

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Library of Congress
is part of the United States Federal Government.
Don't ask; asking only helps the terrorists.


Loc

The M.C. Escher Hall,where people get lost all the time

The "Library of Congress" is the largest library in the world.

Built in 1897, the Library houses two copies of every item for which a person wants a copyright. The largess of the Library is due, in part, to the sheer number of copyright applications from crappy public access shows and crack-pot invention patents archived there.

In addition to the clutter from the crazies, the Library has an impressive collection of artwork and books.

The "Treaty of Peace" between Stephen and Barry Manilow (signed October 30, 2006) is also housed at the Library.

CollectionsEdit

One of the most innovative and uniquely American sections of the Library is the Oral History and the Federal Writers' Project, where regular folks who were eye-witnesses to a historic moment are interviewed. A sound recording is made of the interview and preserved at the Library for all time so future historians may have access to a first-person account of the event.

Here is a list of a few of the groups of people whose stories are preserved by the Library of Congress:

  1. former slaves
  2. Pearl Harbor survivors
  3. Veterans (except liberals)
  4. Chicks Who Wanted to Vote

The latest edition to the collection is the "Oral History Project for Hurricane Survivors" project. Barbara Bush calls it a natural, saying:

Quaker-Oats-Babs-small
"Well, since those people are already over there, why not tape record them while they whine? Plus, I won't have to listen to them and Texas gets more Federal Funding for it. They're better off this way, and I don't have to worry my beautiful, beautiful mind about it! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going shoe shopping with that dear negress friend of Georgie's."
~ Barbara Bush


Sampling of The Hurricane Oral HistoriesEdit

This project makes no mention of "Katrina" in it's name, because Katrina is too closely associated with bad stuff despite The Greatest President--EVER!'s single-handed rescue of every single person from the MIssisippi Gulf Coast region--regardless of race or class and the constant interference from liberals every step of the way.

Anonymous, white male, age 50:
"We had no problems, when we heard the hurricane was coming, we packed everything into our Hummers (thank God for Hummers!) and drove up to our winter home in Kennebunkport. Although I did have to use the windshield wipers a bit."
Anonymous, white female, age 23:
"I had never been in a hurricane, but my husband, who has lived here all his life, took charge and I did everything he told me to, just like it says in the Bible. I even followed four paces behind him as we drove up to our winter home in Kennebunkport."
Anonymous, hispanic female, age 48:
"My boss, he say, 'You stay aqui, Miss [redacted]!' He say I have to keep the house mopped. My boss only know one Spanish word, 'aqui'. But I try to teach him more, like: pendejo."
Anonymous, redneck male, age 41:
"I have the best FEMA trailer, and I want to thank God and The Greatest President--EVER! for everything he has done for me. I wish he could run for President again! By the way, I am running for public office, I sure hope I could visit with The Greatest President--EVER! so I can have a picture for my campaign! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"

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