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Lessons Learned From Birger Dahlerus, Stephen Colbert, William H. Crawford, Empedocles, Charles the Fat, and Other Notables

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Lessons Learned From Birger Dahlerus, Stephen Colbert, William H. Crawford, Empedocles, Charles the Fat, and Other Notables
is a satanic lullaby
and one of the Baby Satan's favorites
Decemberists

Indie-rock band The Decemberists, led by a young John Hodgman Colin Meloy.

Lessons Learned From Birger Dahlerus, Stephen Colbert, William H. Crawford, Empedocles, Charles the Fat, and Other Notables is rumored to be the title of Stephen's archnemeses The Decemberists' fifth full-length studio album. While The Decemberists, best known as coattail-riding jerks, are to be commended for including American hero Stephen Colbert in their list of "notables", why the hell does Birger Dahlerus get first billing over him? That Swedish imbecile didn't even do anything...he even tried to stop us from kicking Hitler's ass in World War II!

Expected tracks include an eleven-minute progressive-rock epic devoted to the Marquis of Rockingham; a trilogy of short vignette-type songs devoted to the subject of the arrival of the British in South Africa (presumably also mentioning the fact that the encounter is probably a complete work of fiction invented by the tiny tin-foil crowd who try to get everybody else to worry about a continent, and nobody cares about enough about it for it to exist in the first place) interspersed throughout the album; and a twenty-minute song consisting of jumbled quotations from the speeches, books, short stories, essays, and oddly orthoepic violent explosions of Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, George Orwell, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Albert Einstein, and Malcolm X.

It remains to be seen whether Lessons Learned... will overtake its predecessor, The Crane Wife, as the greatest album by a band named after a bunch of Russian revolutionaries ever.

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