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Lawrence v. Texas

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Lawrence v. Texas
makes The Baby Jesus sad.
Because it gives legal sanction to homosinuality.
Does your mother know you read these filthy liberal myths?


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Lawrence v. Texas represents the worst American moment of American jurisprudence in 500(+) years of American history. In this decision, activist judges overturned the laws of the state of Texas, as well as the laws of God and Mother Nature, in order to give aid and comfort to homosexuals. After this stupid, stupid Supreme Court ruling, it would no longer be legal for cops to burst into America's neighbors' houses, throw open their bedroom doors, and arrest them for private sexual behaviors. Instead, Real Americans would be limited to taunting and harassing the gays with verbal threats and rock throwing, just like in grade school.


History of the CaseEdit

It all started with a God forsaken Homosexual, who we will call "Lawrence" for our own purposes. Now "Lawrence" enjoyed blaspheming a little too much for his own good and decided to make a public spectacle of his actions while in his private home. Everyone knows that being a Homosexual is against the law, god and every other mandate that has come to pass, but this "Lawrence" thought otherwise (obviously). After the trusted Texas state police (the best and most unbiased police in the nation) were tipped off by an anonymous good citizen, the police found Lawrence knee deep in another man (and they were both burning The Greatest flag ever) in his bedroom; no doubt the bedroom that God intended he create offspring in. After incarcerating him for his heinous act and sentencing him to the ultimate punishment: more anal penetration in the state penitentiary (get it?). Apparently he didn't like the treatment he received in prison because he wrote a letter to what we call the "supreme court" (all hail Supreme Justice Roberts beta) complaining that his sexual acts were his own business, not the States'. I know you're asking yourself, "how wrong is he?", i know, i know, but apparently the liberal Supreme court thought it necessary to rule in his favor because if they made homosexuality a crime then we would not be able to enjoy hot lesbian porn. :) This is why the case of Lawrence vs. Texas is so controversial, Should hot, naked, big breasted, blonde women be able to engage in nipple licking, ice cube dancing, whipped cream smearing fun and not allow men the same rights? i know how i side with this case and that's why i am waiting for a new case to be brought against the court to overturn the previous ruling.

PlaintiffsEdit

DefendantsEdit

Color CommentaryEdit

Stephen doesn't see color, therefore there is no "color commentary".


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