Laurence S. Eagleburger is from a long line of sick sick ancestors who enjoy eating burgers made from eagles.
His last name says it all, people; this guy has singlehandedly depleted the Eagle population by having illegal cookouts at his evil hideout while dressing in drag. In fact, his name should be: Laurence EvildirtyunamericancommielovingMichaelMoorebangingbabysatanworshipper.
Mr. Eagleburger, you have never been on the Colbert Report, but you may as well be dead to Stephen, you dirty old bastard. You even had the nerve to call for the impeachment of The Greatest President Ever.
What happened to this once great Real American?