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|Laura "Pickles" Bush|
|Maiden Name:||Beef Jerky|
|Born:||November 4, 1946|
|Residence:||The Mayflower Hotel|
Laura "Pickles" Bush is the true First Lady of The United States, and thus America's wife.
She loves that man of hers, as well as certain herbal refreshments.
In 1965, her ex-boyfriend jumped in front of her car in a desperate attempt to win her back, meaning that his death was his own fault. She has suffered enough, and any press or police attention paid to this tragedy only takes attention away from real murderers like Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy.
Because of her devotion to the Greatest President Ever, she makes other men feel they also have a chance with her, exciting them to no end.
In 1945 she invented the Miss Universe pageant; therefore, it would be unfair for her to run for the title herself. Her mother-in-law, ironically, also invented a pageant call Miss United States. Laura Bush married the Greatest President ever at the Guantanamo Bay Cuba Resort and sailed away on a magic unicorn to a magical place called Texas. It is believed that she and Condoleezza Rice have been fighting for the Greatest President's affection.