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As we know, Latin should always be written like this — that is, using some fantasy font.

Latin is an almost dead language, that was used throughout Rome and the Roman Empire.

In the modern age, Latin is being revived by Latinos in Latin America.


In the Beginning Was the WordEdit

The word 'Latin' originates from an ancient ancient ancient (very very ancient) race called the Lats who were known for making up words and who had exceptionally well-developed chests. They would sit around in caves, doing heavy reps with light weights and making up words.

Roman EmpireEdit

As Hiram Whickermeister III of Conservapedia informs us, Latin was used by Latino poets to write poetry during the time of the Roman Empire. The most famous poem is undoubtedly that titled Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori, written by an unnamed Latino poet. One stanza reads thus:

dulce et decorum est pro patria mori:
mors et fugacem persequitur virum
nec parcit inbellis iuventae
poplitibus timidoque tergo.

which the Study Group Research Study Group has found to mean this:

It is sweet and decorative for patriots to die:
Moors are poisoned by fugues and non sequiturs.
Nothing was ever invented in a belly in the past,
Ergo the population was timid.

In translating this poetry a step further into basic American, the meaning would seem to be this:

What could be more heroic than dying for your country?
Terrorists. 9/11. Iraq.
We must fight them over there so we will not have to fight them over here.
Nixo-facto, surge.

Middle AgesEdit

During the Middle Ages, Latin was used to write the "Vulgate Bible", which unfortunately has nothing to do with the True Word of God as told to us in the King James Bible.

Modern UsageEdit

Latin is generally spoken by hot Latinas like Salma Hayek, Ricky Martin, half of Soledad O'Brien, and His Excellency Stephanus Maximus Truthiness.

It is also used by scientists to give animals ridiculous names that make the scientists feel superior to the true and good people of the heartland of America.

Some Latin wordsEdit

Below is a list of Latin words which you can use in your everyday American speech. Note that when you use any of these words, it will clearly show that you are a patriotic and wise American; however, when a liberal uses any of these words, it will clearly show that he is a snobbish ivory-tower pedantic.

  • agenda: hidden ulterior motives of liberals.
  • fiat: an evil dictatorial order handed down by a treasonous communist. (Unless it is used in the expression fiat Tony ruat caelum, where it means a righteous, unquestionable executive order handed down by a True American Leader.)
  • sic: used to indicate that a liberal spelt a word wrong.
  • veritas: truth, in contrast to fact.
  • gravitas: might or might not be latin, but it sounds latiny.
  • caveat emptor: soup of the day
AdamsOnNotice This article has been put On Notice.

Please alter it so that there is more truthiness and less fact. Reason: this language is Dead to Stephen.

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