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Latchkey kid or Latchkey child refers to a child that returns from school to an empty home because their parents are away at work, or a child that is often left at home with little or no parental supervision.
Research has proved that Latchkey kids will almost certainly become crazy later in life. As well, a large portion of them grow into a taste for human flesh. Gangs of latchkey kids have been reported to launch unprovoked attacks with axes in rural areas for no ro reason at all. Lizzie Borden is regarded as the most famous latchkey kid.
Latchkey kid also refers to the youthful actors and actresses of Sidney Leef Studios' "Latchkey Kids" series of shorts made in the early 1930s as a low-rent competitor with Hal Roach's "Our Gang." Unfortunately, the series never caught on, and Leef was forced by his creditors to instead make a series of child porn loops that, even today, demand top dollar from avid collectors. Despite this monetary success, nearly all of the 13 original "Latchkey Kids" became axe murderers or worse by the time they were 30, with the sole exception of Donna Reed, the 1960s television star, who spent much of her fortune on blackmail payments to the aging Leef.
Famous Latchkey KidsEdit
- Adolf Hitler
- Vladimir Lenin
- Bryant Gumbel
- Josef Stalin
- Chairman Mao
- Dennis Miller
- Marilyn Manson
- Hillary Clinton