Despite what you may have heard
Larry Craig
Is totally not gay!

Larry Craig
is a great employee of Mitt Romney
and a Friend of Ken!
Larry Craig
I am Larry Craig and my lawyer swears I'm not a

Mr. Craig's plumbers' license allows him to enter any restroom in America to check for "discrepancies"

Idaho's Larry "Happy Feet" Craig is a superstraight guy who is proud to have been in America's Senate for the last seventeen years and regrets his sudden need to spend time with his family.

Mr. Craig made his announcement on the same day Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation as The Greatest Attorney General Ever, despite visiting the democrat trap disguised as a bathroom nearly 2 months before. Republican Senator Craig regrets this unfortunate turn of events, especially the timing. Idaho wishes you well, sir!

Idaho governor C.L. "Butch" Otter told everyone he stands behind Republican Senator Craig, just not too close behind, and regrets that he may have to select a replacement for Mr. Craig, if and when the time comes to do so.

Butch also wanted to reiterate to all America that at no time has Idaho ever had an airport, or public bathrooms. Rumors of such things existing in Idaho are scurrilous.

Mr. Craig's ValuesEdit

First off, Mr. Craig, like all Republican leaders, is not gay. He just has a very wide stance because of his massive balls. He has never hidden a bomb in his underpants.

Mr. Craig's Work in The SenateEdit

Completely not gay.

Mr. Craig's Lifelong Battle Against The Forces of HomosexualityEdit

Not gay, no way!

link for notes

The YouTube News Bureau

1982 Larry Craig denial, 1982 202:55

1982 Larry Craig denial, 1982 2

Mr. Craig's Work For Mitt RomneyEdit

Had nothing to do with him being gay...I mean he's not gay!

His job was to plunge into the unsanitary Presidential candidate crap-shoot, find what matters, peer through the cracks of uncertainty, and root out anyone who stool money from Mitt's ample financial bowels.

Mr. Craig's Future WorkEdit

Mr. Craig held a press conference to emphasize his not being gay, in factiness, he said,

Guotes open clear3
I am not gay, I have never been gay
Guotes close clear3
~Larry Craig

Mr. Craig also wanted everyone to know that he doesn't intend on becoming gay either.

Guotes open clear3
I Da Ho!
Guotes close clear3
~Larry Craig
Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport

Mr. Craig's HobbiesEdit

  • Visiting American airports
  • Tap dancing
  • Loving life his wife


In 2008 Craig was admonished by a Senate panel.

He soon after asked if he could be admonished by a Senate paddle. [1]

Larry Craig's favorite poles pollsEdit

We are not gay! What? Oh. GOP Senator Larry Craig did not have sex with that man! Nor with any other men in any other bathroom. It's the super-powerful liberal Democrats trying to:

The poll was created at 04:25 on November 25, 2009, and so far 14 people voted.

2008 Update!Edit

The Ultra Hetero Senator Craig is looking for summer interns and pages.

Sign your son up today (girls need not apply)[2] [3]

Guess What?Edit

He has a youtube account [4]

Larry's New JobEdit

Larry Craig, formerly of Idaho, has opened a Washington consulting firm to work as an energy lobbyist.

Mr. Craig is expected to tap into his deep knowledge of the hot oil industry to plunge into unexplored territory. [5]

See AlsoEdit

Tube SourcesEdit

Larry Craig
is a United States Senator
for the state of Idaho
I am Larry Craig and my lawyer swears I'm not a

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