Ad blocker interference detected!
Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers
Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.
Kyle Sampson is the former Chief of Staff to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Sampson resigned on March 12, 2007, seemingly unaware that this day was, in fact, a Monday. Wasn't Mr. Sampson aware that resigning on a Monday is like waving a flag, jumping up and down, and yelling "Look at me! I'm resigning!!" If Mr. Sampson could not master such a simple political concept, he obviously did not need to be working in the Justice Department.
Mr. Sampson is a devout Mormon, a hard-working, go-getter in the mold of Karl Rove, and a friend of Mary Cheney's from law school. This last detail obviously played no part in Sampson's rapid career advancement.
The Sampson motto: "Whatever Speedy Wants, Speedy Gets! And Speedily." The Sampson Method: If a few feathers get ruffled, or a few dozens of U.S. Attorneys get fired, so be it. Gotta clear out the old to make way for the loyal.