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Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board

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Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board
makes The Baby Jesus sad.
Because it promotes the sinful doctrine of Darwinism.
Does your mother know you read these filthy liberal myths?


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Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board is a case in which some godless liberal families and their godless liberal lawyers sued their school board to keep the truthy teachings of Intelligent Design out of their classrooms. They only wanted the evils of evolutionism crammed down the brain-holes of their poor, sweet young children, who will now be damned to the eternal flames as a result of the stupid and sinful actions of their parents.

History of the CaseEdit

Bill Buckingham, an oxycontin affictionado, realized that God was missing from Dover's science classroom. In an attempt to defeat the atheistic, liberal powers at be, he decided to attempt to include a statement that would make students aware of Intelligent Design in Dover's science classrooms. Of course, making a student aware of Intelligent Design certainly isn't teaching Intelligent Design, because the teacher was not explicitly explaining Intelligent Design. However, the Godless liberal minority within Dover saw things differently. They called the ACLU to help remove Intelligent Design from their classrooms. However, the outcome of this case, which did remove ID from Dover's classrooms, was thoroughly unconstitutional, because we all know that the idea of "separation of church and state" in America is a myth propolgated by Satan. In the words of Billy Graham, "Since Dover threw God out of their classrooms, then they shouldn't expect God to help them when they need it".

PlaintiffsEdit

  • Tammy Kitzmiller,
  • Ken Miller,
  • Atheistic scientific community;
  • Godless liberals,
  • Doctor Dick Dawkins' dedicated dimwitted followers,
  • ACLU (American Communist Lawyers Union),
  • NCSE (National Center for Sexual Education),
  • Satan,
  • the Satanic Bear Union

DefendantsEdit

Real Americans who support the Greatest President Ever: Michael Behe, Alan Bonsell, Bill Buckingham, the totally NONreligious Dover PA schoolboard, Discovery Institute, all educated Americans.

God's ViewEdit

Damn it! We should have gotten some better defendants! A drug addict, a flip-flopper, and a biochemist obsessed with the Big Bang is no crew to take into battle against the atheistic liberal forces of evolutionary theory!

See AlsoEdit

NOTESEdit

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