Kent ames
has nothing to do with Dr. Colbert! Fix it, or it will be Dead To Me and Stephen!
Discuss why Kent ames should not be deleted here.

Kent Ames is a physics demi-god and one of the chief disciples of stephen colbert. Mr Ames is best known for his place in the history of calculus, and for winning the international halo tournament (in which he defeated colbear).

Biography Edit

No one is sure where Mr Ames was born or what he did in the early years of his life, but he first surfaced as a master Roman Gladiator near the end of Caesar's reign. Ames was fighting against a Polar Bear-Lion (now considered a mythical beast) in the Coliseum when he was spotted by Stephen Colbert. Ames used a basic kinematics equation to land a javelin in between the Polar Bear-Lion's eyes. For his skill, Colbert offered him a place in his inner circle. In exchange for this, Ames gave his armor to Colbert (Stephen still wears it on occasion).


Stephen displays Ames' Armor

Stephen then began the long task of training Ames to use his gut, and introduced him to the power and history of calculus. With Calculus by his side, Ames power increased ten-fold.

Ames relationship to Calculus is explained in the above article, but he is also well known for leading the assault on the beaches of Normandy, filming the march of the penguins, ending imperialism in Africa, guiding Apollo 13 back to Earth, and for creating the Hubble Telescope.

Mr Ames currently teaches the art of Physics to students all across the world, slipping down their chimney the night before tests to help them study (a practice later employed by Santa Claus).

Mr. Ames has also revealed that he personally tutored and inspired the Mona Lisa, Michaelangelo, Strauss, and Beethoven.

The Great Reindeer Attack Edit

In the winter of 1966, Santa Claus realized he had a big problem...he didn't have enough Reindeer Kibble to go around!

He called the only person that he knew would be able to help: Kent Ames.


One of the angry Reindeer

Mr Ames knew how to fix the situation immediately. He used a regression technique to generate an equation which represented Santa's Flight in respect to reindeer. Ames then minimized the number of reindeer, cutting the number of Reindeer needed for flight by 1/3!

Santa was overjoyed, but the same cannot be said for the reindeer who were laid off. These reindeer tracked Mr Ames back to Castle Physicsstein, where they attempted to eviscerate him with their antlers. Ames used his intricate understanding of Electro-Magnetics and the ability to use his gut which was a skill taught to him by Stephen Colbart to fire lightning at the oncoming reindeer, frying them where they stood. But their deaths were not in vain, for Ames was able to use the tender reindeer meat to provide Christmas dinners for impoverished families all across the World.

The Dark Lord Shibboleth Edit

Shibboleth, sometimes known as the dark lord, or simply error 403, tried to invade Mr. Ames's computer, whilst he was trying to play solitare. As the dark lord appeared, Mr. Ames used his super hacking skillz which he was taught by none other than Stephen Colbert to defeat Shibboleth, expelling him from his computer for the time being. Soon after, at random instances, his screen would turn a green or purple hue, which could only be the work of this demon, which Mr. Ames would quickly expel.

Over the winter break of 2017-2018, however, he became converted to Shibboleth's gospel and is now his prophet, and his classroom has become his temple.

Known Abilities Edit

Mr. Ames has been known to be seen with superhuman abilities. These are some of his confirmed ones.

  • Mental calculator
  • Mind reading
  • Trolling
  • Random Jokes 
  • Controlling the Matrix
  • Hacking skillz