Ken Dryden

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Stastny Yan
Ken Dryden
is Hockey-related
making it un-American
Ken Dryden
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.

Ken Dryden is a Canadian communist who claims that truthiness is wrong. When not denouncing truthiness, he is thinking up leftist plots to take over the United States and rid it of wikiality and truthiness, which is actually a paradox, because he thinks about truthiness when plotting, thereby making Ken Dryden nonexistant.

In his younger days, Ken Dryden was a Hockey Hall of Fame goalie in the Canadian sport of hockey, who played for the America-hating Montreal Canadiens. Had the Saginaw Spirit, led by Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, been around back then, they would have likely pummeled Dryden into submission, as they do to all godless Canadians in the pursuit of Stephen Colbert's personal glory.

Dryden tried to make amends for his Canadianness by calling the triumphant 1980 game when America pwn'd the Communists for American TV.

His attempt to cover his shame failed, he will need more than a miracle to stop being a Canadian.

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