Despite what you may have heard
Keanu Reeves
Is totally not lesbionic!
Keanu Reeves
is a CELEBRITY! Oh. My. God.

Terrorist, Keanu Reeves, "I don't know why everyone thinks I'm gay."

Keanu Reeves is a great, critically acknowledged American actress. She has won seven Oscars as well as a Latin Grammy. She is most recognized for her role as a gay man with no emotions in The Matrix. Her first name means "blowfish" in the Hawaiian language.

Terrorist ConnectionsEdit

Osama bin Lisa
Mahmoud Ahmedi-Keanu Reeves-nejad is a terrorist.

Keanu Reeves may be one of America's Greatest Terrorists. She once saved a bus full of Americans with a bomb planted on it. However, it was later discovered that she in fact planted the bomb in order to be a hero and get some Sandra Bulluck tail.

Connections With the DevilEdit

Keanu Reeves once took a puff of weed and went through time attempting to alter our American lives as we know it under the name "Constantine". Luckily she was too stoned to remember her agenda and failed miserably at her plan.

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