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| KANSAS, the worst state |
|Capital:||The Gay Bar|
|State Flower:||Any With a Gay Picture|
|State Motto:||"let there be gay guys"|
|State Anthem:||Dust in the Wind (A Gay Version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.)|
|Standard MPH:||5 Over|
|Principal industries:||Wheat, not to be confused with weed.|
|Fun Fact # 1:||It's flat. Really, really flat.|
|Fun Fact # 2:||Kansas is the gayest state in the nation.|
Kansas (also known as "Missouri's Portugal", "Colorado's Spain", "Nebraska's South Korea", "Oklahoma's North Korea", "Texas's Kazakhstan", "California's Sudan", or "Maine's Hawaii"), often misconstrued as "in the middle of nowhere", is in fact lower and off to the right a little from the middle of nowhere. One can find Ecuadorian alcohol almost anywhere in the state, so long as you go searching before 11pm (except on Sundays)! Marijuana is also plentiful, and there are plenty of gay bars. If you venture to Topeka, the capital of this gay state, you will find one of the highest crime rates per capita in all of the United States, mostly as a result of the high amount of Meth labs. Outside of Topeka the crime rate drops like a stone due to the number of farmers with shotguns and dogs with a taste for Ecuadorian ass.
One final important aspect of Kansas is the numerous wheat fields. To the right, you can see what some fine Kansas citizens think of such fields.
First, some gay Ecuadorians needed to immigrate to the United States. So they traveled north through the Gulf of Mexico until they reached Texas. However, the straight cowboys didn't approve of gay people, so the cowboys sent the gay Ecuadorians to the land between Colorado and Missouri. They named it Kansas, which is Spanish for "Ken's anus". They grew tons and tons of wheat fields, so they can be gay in private.
By changing the meaning of the word gay from "happy" to "homosexual".
- Hasn't had a decent song since "Carry On (My Wayward Son)"
- Kansas, as boring and gay as you think.
The Worlds Largest Ball of Twine is considered one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
A Typical Day In KansasEdit
Eating, sleeping, gay sex
Why Colorado is better Edit
- Rocky Mountains
- Not so many wheat fields
- Elitch Gardens
- GameForce game store
- impending Invasion of Utah
- Dwight Eisenhower: President of here
- Bob Dole: Viagra Spokesman
- Kirstie Ally:
FormerlyHot Girl on Cheers
- Kathleen Sebelius, current governor and handmaiden of Barack Hussein Obama
- Dorthy from The Wizard of "It Was All Just A Dream"