Julius Caesar

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Julius Caesar
is a Real Roman Citizen!
Stephanus Populusque Romanus

Julious Caesar: Great Dictator for Life or The Greatest Dictator for Life Ever?


Julious Caesar with his “Plebian” friend.

Julius Caesar was a Roman military leader and politician. He is famous for crossing the Rubicon, and for starring in a movie with Marlon Brando. He is also well known for saying a bunch of stuff in Latin, which is pretty un-American if you ask me.

During the years 58-51 BC, Caesar conquered Gaul, a barbaric land full of proto-Frenchmen. Many historians have expressed surprise that this campaign lasted so long, as the modern day French are legendary for being, you know, wusses and all. After kicking Gaul's collective ass, he combined romaine lettuce, herbed croutons, and parmesan cheese for the first time...ever. Use the Google if you don't believe me, liberal.

Caesar is also famous for getting all assassinated. This was a great day for the ancient Romans as Caesar was about to enact numerous political reforms which would have benefitted the commonfolk of Rome. Sounds pretty liberal if you ask me.

Caesar's nephew and successor, Augustus, would go on to found a very popular and reasonably priced chain of pizza restaurants.

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