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Josh Wolf

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Josh Wolf
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process


JoshWolf

Suit? Check. Tie? Check. American Flag lapel pin? HOW DARE YOU JOSH?!

Josh Wolf served 226 days for refusing to give authorities footage of a San Francisco protest. He appeared as Stephen's guest on the June 12, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report after prolific spam writer Cornelius Q. Vestibule was forced to cancel.


Josh's Brush With FameEdit

Josh Wolf gained notoriety for giving aid and comfort to America's enemies by

  1. withholding videotaped evidence in the fight on terror
  2. claiming to be a journalist

An activist judge allowed Mr. Wolf to be released from custody after spending only 7 1/2 months in prison. Mr. Wolf was not sent to Gitmo, nor were enhanced interrogation techniques applied to the little shit in order to obtain knowledge only he has to help prevent more terrorist attacks.

Josh's Delusions of JournalismEdit

Mr. Wolf told investigators that he was not aware of any Al Qaeda plots against America. Then, Mr. Wolf insisted none of his video footage contained any terroristic behaviors.

How would you know that Mr. Wolf, huh? How would you know for sure that your video footage didn't contain any terrorist activities unless you knew where the terrorist activities were taking place and deliberately avoided videotaping them!

Huh? Huh? Answer that, smart ass!

In addition to the aiding and abetting terrorists, the U.S. attorney (who wasn't fired for gross performance failure) argued that Wolf did not have the right to call himself a journalist and for appearing on Amy Goodman's Communist Now! radio program.

The Trend In JournalismEdit

With so many of their comrades working in and owning all of the media outlets, it may come as a shock to most Americans that the notoriously lazy hippies do work, even if it was just as "journalists".

There seems to be a new trend among America's recently wilded youth: to use the technological gifts of corporations against Real Americans and then try to hide behind the proverbial sedentary and large ass we all call journalism.

It is important to note that there are no protections in America's Constitution for journalists, journalist's sources or hippies. As a result of liberals' unfounded sense of entitlement, many journalists and journalist wannabes (such as bloggers and television anchors) have been arrested and jailed for their presumptuousness.

What The Law Really SaysEdit

Jailing hippies for being presumptuous isn't against the law, no matter how whiney the factonistas get.

The law clearly states if you are terrorist, or if you help terrorists, America gets to lock you up and throw away the key.

Unless you get an activist judge...then who the hell knows what's going to happen!

America's judicial system will be lost to the anarchists!

And then, the terrorists will have won.

Self-Improvement in PrisonEdit

Once in prison, it is incumbent on the criminal to find Jesus in order to save his soul from the flames of eternal damnation.

Some criminals will go looking for Muhammed.

This is not acceptable!

Prayer is not permissible in the anal cavity of a fellow sinner.

Blasphemers like Mr. Wolf are ordered to look for Jesus in the mess hall or the steamy weight room. It is in the act of pumping up God's Creation that one can find salvation.

It is not known if Mr. Wolf will continue his heavenly regimen on the outside.

Quotes from SupportersEdit

So few people actually support Mr. Wolf, even among the homo-hippie coalition, that most of what has been written about his case comes out of sheer speculation.

However, Wikiality.com was able to find someone whorish enough to blather about something s/he was not involved in or has any direct knowledge of, if the price is right. And that was a Los Angeles attorney:

Flag commie quote open
"Without the backing of a major news corporation, Joshie went to jail to for a principle that should be important to all reporters. But that's like being America's largest rhubarb producer; no one else really cares."
Flag commie quote close
~ Kelli Sager, a media attorney in Los Angeles.


See AlsoEdit

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