John Rocker
is Very Manly™.
Despite what you may have heard
John Rocker
Is totally not racist!

John Rocker is a proud American/closer who shoots from the hip and has 88 career saves (an all time record). He is regarded as a civil rights activist who was always pushing for change. He once called his teammate, Randall Simon, a "fat monkey" and he was correct in doing so. After this comment Randall looked himself in the mirror and saw that he was spinning out of control and 6 weeks later Randall lost 35 pounds. When Randall's cat had kittens he named one of them Little John Rocker as a thank you for opening up his eyes.

A few people call John nasty words like "racist" or "homophobic", but most people just refer to him as "right".

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