The Baby Satan has a special place in hell for
John Petrucci
and YOU just for visiting this internets tube!
"John Petrucci"
is an Official "Lover of Immoral Bears" (LiB) Site™

You don't have to be
high on painkillers
to boogie down to John Petrucci.

John Petrucci is a guitar player. You may have heard of him. But what you may not have heard about John Petrucci is that he is a bear.

This seems to be a fairly recent development. Nobody knows really why he became a bear. But instead of being a guitar guy, Petrucci is now a guitar bear.

Be wary: not only can Petrucci kill with his massive mauling claws and razor-sharp teeth, but he can also unleash a brain-jellying, nerve-ripping guitar solo with both paws. It might sound like the guitar's being played with a big velvet hammer...but now imagine that big velvet hammer smashing your skull in.

Beware of John Petrucci. Avoid him at all costs.


He used to be a fairly normal dude, but after he grew a beard, it all went downhill for him.

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