John Mellencamp
belongs to a coven that makes satanic music
which are lullabies to the Baby Satan

Angelina jolie 032
Don't be too mean,
John Mellencamp
is a registered Pussy.

Mellencamp dancing the hippie dance to communism, or reacting to his coming nailing by Dr. Colbert


Cougar or Mellencamp? Pick a side, sir. We're at war.

Johnny Cougar Mellencamp is a popular musician Chevy truck salesman who was nailed on The Colbert Report on Wednesday, July 18, 2007. Perhaps then we will discover the truth about Jack and Diane. Did they really grow up in the heartland, or is it all a pack of lies?



On July 18, 2007, Mr. Meloncamp dared to bring his confusing mix of hillbilly gitar pickin' and neoliberalism to "The Colbert Report".


John Mellencamp
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process

Willie Nelson, Neil Young, John Mellancap: Stephen has finished the Farm Aid collector's set. Stephen may introduce the Farm Aid concert when it comes to New York, he will wear something sleeveless to show off his farmer's tan

a member of Heartlandia (automatically making him conservative)

Family values means only one thing, like minty fresh

Believes our enemies are our family

There are no Colberts in Iraq

Doesn't believe the Old Testament is the Bible Didnt know Jesus said:

  • eye for an eye; tooth for a tooth
  • or "I come with a sword, sir!"

Called Stephen out; Stephen gracefully wussed out stepped aside to save Mellencamp the embarassment of getting his ass kicked on live TV.

Things Meloncamp has in common with Tim Robbins:


23 Farm Aid concerts

Mellencamp was born in a small town, and he lives in a small town. He will probably die in a small town.

Didn't get the memo stating that as a Heartlandian, he is automatically a Conservative.

Family Values only means one thing: good and good

Says he's for good, but might be a liberal/peacenik/hold-hands-and-talk-about-our-problems-with-our-enemies kind of guy

Our enemies are not our family: There are no Colberts or Mellencamps in Iraq

Hippie liberal claptrap heaviosity: "I think it's all a circle; we're all connected."

Apparently Mellencamp's little pink house doesn't get The Internets or cable. Here's a flash Johnny: We were attacked by Al Qaeda on 9/11.

Believes the Old Testament was written by a bunch of guys who might have been on Willie's tour bus, smoking reefer.

Is for peace, but is not a pacifist. FLIP FLOP.

Tried to turn the other cheek but was goaded into a fight he couldn't possibly win with Stephen.

ROUND 2: Mellencamp plays Our Country

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