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John Ensign

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Multi-ColoredSpotlight
Beautiful Republican of the week
07-11-09

Knight'sCrossW-Accouterments
JesusRebel
John Ensign
is a proud and perfect
reflection of the Republican Party.
Gov'tAgent2small
USSenateSeal
John Ensign
is a United States Senator
for the state of Nevada


JohnO'Hurley

Senator Ensign - Republican with balls

John Ensign is the only male Senator Nevada has at the moment and is a defender of the American institution of marriage. He strongly supports impeachment and removal from office for people like Bill Clinton who have non-marital sex or related oral activities.

Michael Steele America would love it if he ran at the top of the ticket in 2012 with The Greatest Maveratrix Ever as his vice president.

Casting out gay demonsEdit

JesusRebel
John Ensign
is an American Man of God!!!

Senator Ensign has been blessed by God with the ability to exorcise the gay agenda out of America's youth; he is thus a licensed "demon-be-gone" doctor and, along with Our Glorious Stephen, the only real doctor in America. His future running mate, Ex- Still-Governor Palin, prefers to pray the gay away, so the Ensign-Palin ticket will be sure to force that queer Satan back into the closet of damnation.

Work Protecting MarriageEdit

VIAGRA
Watermelon
HIDE THE WATERMELONS!!!
John Ensign
IS ONE HORNY BASTARD.

Ensign and his many adoring female interns often have all-night brainstorming sessions at the Mayflower Hotel, banging out ways to protect the sanctity of marriage and taking various positions on the hot-button topic. Ensign doesn't put these meetings on record, of course, because he doesn't want to unduly burden taxpayers.

But, wouldn't you know it, the filthy-minded liberal media just had to put a sexual spin on these innocent trysts meetings. Luckily, truthiness warrior Sean Hannity was there to remind us all of the three most important truths of the case:

1) Republicans are incapable of cheating on their wives

2) Bill Clinton

3) Shut up, you socialist!

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