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John Ensign is the only male Senator Nevada has at the moment and is a defender of the American institution of marriage. He strongly supports impeachment and removal from office for people like Bill Clinton who have non-marital sex or related oral activities.
Casting out gay demonsEdit
Senator Ensign has been blessed by God with the ability to exorcise the gay agenda out of America's youth; he is thus a licensed "demon-be-gone" doctor and, along with Our Glorious Stephen, the only real doctor in America. His future running mate,
Ex- Still-Governor Palin, prefers to pray the gay away, so the Ensign-Palin ticket will be sure to force that queer Satan back into the closet of damnation.
Work Protecting MarriageEdit
Ensign and his many adoring female interns often have all-night brainstorming sessions at the Mayflower Hotel, banging out ways to protect the sanctity of marriage and taking various positions on the hot-button topic. Ensign doesn't put these meetings on record, of course, because he doesn't want to unduly burden taxpayers.
But, wouldn't you know it, the filthy-minded liberal media just had to put a sexual spin on these innocent
trysts meetings. Luckily, truthiness warrior Sean Hannity was there to remind us all of the three most important truths of the case:
1) Republicans are incapable of cheating on their wives
2) Bill Clinton
3) Shut up, you socialist!