John Birch Society

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Part fraternity, part social club, the John Birch Society (JBS) has graced America's shores since 1958.

And not a moment too soon as America found herself shrouded under a burqa of the blackest, most insidious unAmericanness: communism aliens!

Many of their members are known as "Birchers" ready to fight the Communist Threat.

Fighting The Nazis Over There, So They Would Never Come To AmericaEdit

The Man, The Legend, John BirchEdit

John Birch was a humble missionary in 1940s China. One day, while minding his own business, he was brutally murdered by members of Mao's Communist party. It was then he decided that something had to be done about those damn communists. When he got back to the States, he founded an orgization dedicated to preserving the constitution and combating communism.

Founding of His SocietyEdit

Communist Threat to AmericaEdit

The Communist Negro: Their Secret Plant to Establish the Negro Soviet RepublicEdit

Water Fluoridation: The Brainwashing Mind Controlling Communist MedicineEdit

The Supreme Court: Civil Rights and the Secret Plot to Make American CommieEdit

The Federal Government: Now Under The Control of Soviet AgentsEdit

Any accusation that the John Birch Society is filled with paranoid crazy racist imbeciles is nothing but liberal lies!

JBS Core BeliefsEdit

"Less Government, More Responsibility, and — With God's Help — a Better World."

If You Show Your Love, JBS Rates You 100!

Recent ActivitiesEdit

Sadly, JBS has strayed from its founding principles, as evidenced by it call for the impeachment of The Greatest President Ever, George Walker Bush. Apparently, the President's wiretapping, torture, and secret prison programs are proof of his "disregard for the constitution". Well JBS, I dont see anything in the constitution about giving aid comfort to terrorists, and certainly not about agreeing with the ACLU! Besides, might be killed by terrorists. Surely the Founding Fathers would have been less adament about the whole "personal freedom" thing if there had been a chance they could have been killed over it.

New American Magazine!Edit


Mrs. Todd Palin enjoys reading The New American while at her office!

External TubesEdit

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