ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
Baby Jesus
Joe Wurzelbacher
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
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Joe Wurzelbacher
is a Certified, Genuine Regular American™
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Your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights
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~ Joe the Plumber

Joe confronts a Secret Muslim about his crippling tax increase and his socialist plan to spread the wealth around.

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, commonly known as Joe The Plumber is a Republican operative plumber from Ohio. He met Barack Hussein Obama recently and was mentioned frequently during the third presidential debate between Barack Hussein Obama and John McCain. Obama wants to cut raise his taxes and McCain wants to cut his taxes.

Joe is a cousin of Joe Six-Pack, and good friend of John Q. Public

Joe's BackgroundEdit

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Joe's dad was also a plumber.

Joe was raised in a log cabin, in the heartland. His mother was a pious who homeschooled her children while baking delicious apple pies. His father worked a non-union job at an American Flag factory.

Joe grew up to not only not be a plumber, he is also not a taxpayer nor a Democrat. Rumors abound as to whether he is actually a Josephine!

Joe also has relatives who are also not plumbers, tax payers and not in possession of clear secondary sexual characteristics.

Joe's Life As A PlumberEdit


Joe would have to be paid $250,000 a year to keep a job this shitty...

Although not licensed as a tradesman plumber, Joe is a certified Roguegoer. As such, he follows the tradesman rule of setting an appointment day to show up for a service call, but not letting the customer pin them down to a set hour. John McCain thought Wurzelbacher would appear with the Republican presidential candidate at his first campaign event in Defiance, Ohio (which, in no way, is an ironic town name given the circumstances) on October 30, 2008. But in what was a slightly awkward moment for McCain, Wurzelbacher was nowhere to be seen when the Arizona senator called out for him. A campaign aide later said Wurzelbacher had decided not to come and would join McCain later in the day, which he eventually did.

The McCain campaign was unwilling to escalate the early appearance to an emergency service call at triple regular hourly rates plus travel costs. Wurzelbacher proved that he is a master at his profession. No wonder he is concerned about going over the $250k annual income threshold.


Joe checks for a pulse on The Greatest Maverick Ever. In addition to being an unlicensed plumber, Joe is also an unlicensed EMS Attendant.

Speaking For Regular AmericansEdit


Many Americans show their support for Joe

Joe has started a webtube for regular Americans, called "Secure Your Dreams From Communist-Socialist-Marxist Secret"

Only Americans from the real parts of America are welcome as the NSA blocks the site from fake American IP addresses.

Joe, A Hero To Illegals, TooEdit



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No American Citizen Should Be Without One.[1]

External TubesEdit

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