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Jimmy Carter Rabbit Attack

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Jimmy Carter Rabbit Attack
started out as a good idea
but has descended into a HORRIBLE, SHAMEFUL MESS
It desperately needs someone who understands truthiness to edit it.


Jimmy Carter's harrowing moment Edit

In 1979, Jimmy Carter was fishing in the backwoods of Plains, Georgia. When out of nowhere came a Swamp Rabbit the likes of which this nation has not seen before or since. This rabbit, having been allowed to live for so long in the brush and muck of a swamp had grown to be nearly 10 ft. long and had razor sharp claws. Much like a Bear. It is believed this incident was the inspiration for two films, Night of the Lepus, and Fried Green Tomatoes.

Tragically, the rabbit made the first move, and Billy Carter lost three fingers and spilled his Beer. The rabbit then leaped into the water and swam at Jimmy Carter's boat, in which Jimmy Carter was defenseless. He swung an oar at the beast and it jumped up and bit him on the neck, creating Vampire Jimmy Carter.

By the time that his security got there, Billy had gone into shock, and Jimmy Carter was in a stupor, from the rabbit bite. He had been bitten by a notorious animal, totally unlike Starbeam, Steven Colbert's magical Unicorn that you can see if you believe hard enough.


I think the Rabbit was the Manchurian Candidate after Patty Hearst who was arrested for leaving when he refused to participate in terrorist activities financed by the LEAA, and he was given the falsified prescription that was authorised by Dr Peter Bourne to conceal his true identity.

The Bourne Identity

CA #76-0224-R US District Court

Then they used the lies to send him to prison again in the Reagan administration, which is why when Lyn Nofziger quit he was talking about the Rabbit Attack and said he wanted to start a rumor, "Jimmy Carter has the clap". He wasn't talking about Rosalyn. Nelson Rockefeller was behind Jimmy when he took the hostages in Iran, then Jimmy blamed the Rabbit and gave it the clap.


Remember Cheney's Assassination Team? The Rabbit leaked intelligence to the military and told them who the enemy was, then Cheny got mad because they refused to bomb Iran. He got his hands on a copy and stuck it up his ass

Aftermath Edit

Jimmy Carter never returns to Plains, Georgia. Jimmy Carter never returned to Georgia at all. He currently resides in Venezuela.

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