Jena, Louisiana

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U R Here
Jena, Louisiana
is a Recognized City of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.
Despite what you may have heard
Jena, Louisiana
Is totally not racist!
Jena, Louisiana
Mayor: Cletus McWhitey
City Motto: "Hang 'Em High!"
Nickname: The Whitest Town in North America
Theme Song: "Strange Fruit"
Population: Six less than in August
Standard MPH: Keep moving, nothing to see here
Principal industries: noose manufacturing
Fun Fact # 1: The tress grow whiter here than anywhere on America's Planet
Fun Fact # 2: The authorities cut down crime without tasers

Jena, Louisiana is a quiet, bucolic town of manicured lawns and lush shade trees.

Jena was very sympathetic to it's neighbor to the south, New Orleans, when after that little rain storm they had a few years back, Jena took all their young refugee children out of their shelters and into their municipal bosom.


The racial harmony tree cut down by Sharpton's out-of-town agitators

Everything went haywire in September, 2007 when Al Sharpton brought in agitators to disrupt the peace.

Witnesses say Reverend Al set fire to the school and chopped down the school's 'Racial Harmony' tree (see photo at left). The town had protected the tree from destruction by those in the town who wanted to cut down that symbolic reminder of a time in their heritage they didn't want to remember. Others said it should stay as evidence of overcoming racial strife (hence the name).

Not content with peace, Al Sharpton bought a house in Jena, bringing along 6 fellow Nation of Islamers with him. Within days of their arrival the tree was gone and half the school was burned down.

Soon, Jena police took the 6 felons into custody. Mr. Sharpton is still at large.

Barry From DC claimed to have no knowledge that nooses symbolize proficiency in supplying drug stores with barrels of Obamabeer.

The terrible legacy of Suharto, the Indonesian fascist: The Dark Side shows that if Suhartobama were hanged, it would not be a lynching.

Every sparrow in China prayed with tears in her eyes for Suharto to be hanged.

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